Infertility and Fear of conceiving a sick baby

Dear team, I have been struggling to get pregnant for a few years now and have seen already three years ago on and off private health practitioners to check on gut health and nutrition status. Also I went to the dentist to do all my teeth health. But then only had miscarriage and then never got pregnant again in two and a half years. I returned to the doctors and always something new pops up and my gum health etc. And this mold at home.
I am afraid to try conceive next month (with ICSI or naturally) as what if my body is not ready and the child is sick and I will have a lot of pregnancy issues. Should we not try to fix all and try again in three months. On the other hand I know it will never be perfect and we have been eating really healthy and home cooked food (even home backed sourdough full wheat bread) at home and go for daily walks. What else can one do we should already be fine now.
Of course we had covid in March, but that should be recovered by now as well.

How can I get my brain to relax that anytime is as good as no time.

C I do not want to conceive a sick baby or be sick all my pregnancy and difficult birth etc.
T My body does not have all the vitamins it needs, to much poison and gum disease will be in the way.
F I am afraid. Despair. Helplessness. Not knowing what is best
A I am half way for doing it and hoping it doesn’t work. Or tell myself it is a trial run for in three month
R Next ICSI is just a trial run in my head. I am not particularly excited

C I do not want to conceive a sick baby or be sick all my pregnancy and difficult birth etc.
T my body has all it needs to nurture an embryo and baby and pregnancy
F Excited, Looking forward to it, inner peace and confidence
A relaxed, calm, happy ….not really an action… what could I do?
R I feel good about trying with ICSI (or naturally now)

 

Answer:

What a wonderful question…how can I get my brain to relax? Because there will ALWAYS be something which we perceive as “wrong” or that *could* be improved, but that doesn’t mean that it has to be, or that you’re not already doing plenty.

Our human brains have a negativity bias – it’s so much easier for us to focus on what’s going wrong or could go wrong, instead of what we’re doing or what’s going right. To get out of this, we have to retrain our brains, and this takes effort.

The first step is always self-love. What have you been doing that is right? How can you love and accept all of you (health challenges included) unconditionally with love and compassion? Do you recognize any places in your life where you haven’t been loving towards yourself? Why is that the case? In what ways is what you have been rejecting or loathing lovable?

Whether you have or haven’t watched the Self-Love webinar in the Cycle Toolkit in the past, I highly recommend watching it in the very near future. It’s packed with helpful insights about how to cultivate more love and refocus our brains so that they can relax into a more loving and safer place. Come back with what you uncover, we are here for you on your journey!