Integrating a period of sickness 2

Hi
thanks coaches, the ladder thoughts feel like some pressure is lifting.

I dont feel afraid of the period of job search ending, rather I connect a feeling of huge relief to it. I feel ready, and a little nervous, about this next step, but the thought of a given routine, going to an office, given some tasks (and thanks), and a regular income, just sound really really good to me.

After a long time where I have to make decisions for myself every day how to structure my day and work on myself, it would be a really big relief to -just- be going to work.
I also notice the thoughts that – once I have a job, so many things will be easier, or more in my control, or “back to normal”.

Having received many rejections to my applications, the motivation to keep applying is dwindling. Thoughts like “i will just receive a rejection anyway”, doubts like “maybe my criteria for the right job are too high”, “maybe I am making a mistake with applying in this way and looking for the ideal job is wrong”.
In addition I feel I make myself responsible for my progress. I think if I dont reply it is my fault that my life isnt moving forward or changing or that im not getting an offer (No application – no offer). It feels that only when I keep applying, I am taking the steps to move forward towards the goal of returning to work.
However, this has become harder and harder to keep up and in addition it has become harder to be kind to myself and offer time off or follow “things I want do do outside a job”. When I try and set another focus I find myself lacking the financial means and I feel guilty for now applying.

Currently this also turns into a negative self-talk more generally.

I wonder how I can keep a healthy focus on the job search? I feel I make a lot of things dependent on it (including self worth).

Ladder thoughts seem really helpful to me, as well as some models, but having written the above, i dont know where to start as it feels like so much.

Thanks

 

Answer:

 

Aren’t ladder steps the best?

Let’s get curious for a moment. What a healthy focus on your job search mean to you? What would you be doing and not doing? How would you be feeling and what would you be willing to feel? What thoughts might contribute to these feelings?

Hearing the word no can be so challenging, and failing is hard. You get to have all the feelings about it, and you also get to choose what to do next in the face of it. To steal a phrase from Glennon Doyle, you can do hard things. We have all the faith in you, and you can borrow some whenever you you need to.