Intentional/Unintentional models help – realising everyone has their struggles

Hi, coming back to AAC as the last one has really helped. Also stole some bits from another members coaching!

I get stuck in the same unintentional models every Autumn and wondered if you could help me refine them, and the intentional one:
C I’m overweight
T It’s not fair I have so many issues with food
F Sad/Despondent/Powerless (I think it’s powerless)
A Buffer with food; Mope around; Eat foods I shouldn’t; Don’t move my body; Give up on goal
R I stay overweight

C Not pregnant
T it’s not fair I can’t easily have babies
F same as F above
A same as A above
R I make it harder to get pregnant

From what was coached on the patriarchy post where you questioned why is it unfair, it made me realise that’s what I think about my circumstances. I’ve held on to so many incorrect assumptions: that to everyone else weight/fertility comes easy; no one else has any of their own circumstances to deal with; I’m the only one who has any struggles.

So, intentional model could be:
C As above
T I know exactly what I need to do to give myself the best chance of losing weight/getting pregnant
F Powerful
A Compassion for myself; Follow my plan; Make helpful choices around food; Move my body
R Give myself the best chance of losing weight/getting pregnant

The powerful feeling and actions in this intentional model is where I’ve been in the last 2 spring/summers and has meant I’ve made real progress on my goal to lose weight, but I think the unintentional model thought (maybe there are some others) is an old story I’ve been telling myself. Any tips or suggestions for kicking out some old, well trodden thoughts this autumn?

Answer:

Wow. Wow! This is some serious self awareness here! Please know that we are celebrating you on this side of AAC and hope that you are doing the same.

Your IM looks amazing. Well done. In your UMs, it seems like your Rs are a bit disconnected to your Ts. Can you see how these Rs are more connected to your T lines?

I continue to have issues with food
I make it harder to get away from the idea that it’s unfair that I can’t have babies easily

What’s wonderful about what you’ve brought to the table here is that now you KNOW where your brain goes in autumn, and this means you can prepare for it. Think about going into this autumn like you’re packing for a trip – one that you know is going to put you out of your comfort zone, and that has a very specific packing list, including equipment you will need to make the trek.

What is on your packing list? Consider these questions:

What do you need to plan in advance (realistic food/exercise protocol, TFC community check-ins, self-coaching, quiet/reflective time, self-care times/days, etc.)?
What triggers do you want to be mindful of? Would you like to create any canned responses so you can choose which path to go down when you realize that you’ve been triggered?
What Ts do you want to intentionally carry with you through this autumn and how will you remind yourself of those?
How will you show yourself love and compassion when you have a wobble, or when things feel particularly challenging?
When and how do you want to acknowledge and celebrate your wins?

Remember: this is a trial, so you’re just looking for what works and what doesn’t, and you can fine tune and redirect in your next cycle. Let us know how it goes in the community or come back for more coaching when you’re ready.