Irregular periods

So I posted this up on the facebook feed but think I’d like some coaching with it.
I have charted my cycle for years (more in depth in the past year) and have totally changed my lifestyle (over the past 7 years) to try and enable my cycles to become more regular, however in truth they are just pretty irregular.

I can see certain things in my cycle – like lots of energy in my spring/ summer and needing to with draw and hide away in my winter but sometimes I don’t notice anything and just feel fine (which I imagine is a good thing – something to be grateful for). I am sure I have made progress with my cycle (and general) health as I used to get very lumpy and tender breasts which I no longer have, my cycles have generally become less completely bonkers irregular and I certainly have a big awareness of how my body feels. However, I had a bad relationship with food for most of my teens/ early twenties and went on the pill from the age of 16-28 so I feel there are reasons why I might just have irregular periods – regardless of the lifestyle I lead.

However I often feel like I am failing if I have an irregular cycle – like I am not trying hard enough, that (as contraditionary as this sounds) being as aware as I am of my cycles, charting them etc has been amazing but has also led me to be obsessive (a common trait through out my life)….often left feeling I am not doing enough to make them better, letting myself down and this then can spiral into worrying about my health.

My question is – is it ok to just have irregular cycles..? Wouldn’t it just be best for me to embrace the fact that I actually have a period (although age 42 I am noticing longer periods).
I am feeling the need to let go of this chapter of my life, to celebrate the wonderful things I have done over the past 7 years for my health and would like to stop this area of my analysing brain. I feel this is happening as, as I am writing this is making me see that it is…
This is the model I have written up – however on writing this I am wondering why it is I am needing validation and answers to these questions…

 

Unintentional Model
C – Irregular periods
T – There is something wrong with me
F – Scared and frightened
A – Feel overwhelmed and obsess over my health
R – Feel like a victim

 

Intentional Model
C – Irregular Periods
T – What if this is just the way I am?
F – Calm – grateful for all that I do for myself
A – Keep doing all that I do
R – Move forwards with life!
I think this is happening for me which is amazing however clearly I am still looking for validation and reassurance… but I guess that’s ok xx

 

Answer:

What great awareness you have of your life and your patterns. You ask some very good questions that would be important for you to answer. What do you think about embracing having irregular periods? What stops you from celebrating the wonderful things you have done for you health?

In regards to your model, it would be fun to be as factual as possible in the C-line. You could write the variation in cycle like C: Cycles 21-35 days, especially as although ‘irregular periods’ is a medical term, it is also a thought and you could flip that and think ‘I have regular-ish periods’.

For your intentional model, make the thought a statement instead of a question, so something like this:
C: Cycles __-__ days
T: This is the way that I am
F: Calm
A: Recognize the good that I do for myself, keep doing the habits that help me
R: I appreciate myself as I am

How does that feel?