January goal

Hi coaches,

I’ve been trying to change my relationship with alcohol and food over the last year. I’ve realised that I’m using both (especially alcohol) as a buffer and to override my need to rest or experience certain emotions. Part of me is disappointed that despite lots of inner observations that I’ve not got further with ‘fixing’ the problem but I’m trying to be kind to myself and recognise that the first stage of this process is observing and unpacking what’s underneath and that won’t be a quick process!

Coming into Christmas season, I’ve decided to try to enjoy all the festivities (and food/drink) without punishing myself about it but in January I’d like to kickstart change. My goal is to do ‘dry January’ but I also really want to lose some weight. I’ve noticed real feelings of shame when I see photos of myself over the last few months and I’ve caught myself thinking that next year is when I’m going to change myself for the better.

My goal to do dry January and lose weight feels big and I’m motivated to do it and also believe it’s a loving thing to do. I’ve been having thoughts like ‘I’m determind / when I set my mind to something I can do it’ etc. I’ve also begun thinking about ways I can plan for success such a pin pointing moments when I’ll find not drinking challenging.

However I’m niggled by the worry that this is a goal based on restriction and punishment and could it be a dirty goal. I’d love some feedback please!

 

Answer:

 

Yes! Thank you for bringing this here – it’s absolutely worth the exploration.

Let’s tug on the niggling-feeling thread and see where it leads. What does this thread have to tell you? What thoughts emerge when you start to pull on it? Write them all down. What do you think? Notice if there are any that emerge that you understand, can have compassion for, or that raise red flags.

This is the time to do some gentle observation, as you mentioned. Let’s meet this thoughts without criticism and see them for what they are: ideas your brain is creating about this goal. You get to decide which ideas to breathe life into.