January goal pt 2

The thoughts that emerge when I explore ‘is this a dirty goal’ are:

– it’s based on a goal about not being good enough as I am right now whatever my size or how I look
– it’s based on exterior rather than interior
– if I don’t succeed or have some bumps along the road then it’ll impact how I feel about myself and how much I love myself
– will i only love myself and feel proud / happy when I’m succeeding?
– what if I fail? I’ll feel so frustrated and probably turn to the cycle of binging to numb the feelings of self loathing and shame

My answer to these thoughts are – how can I love myself through the process? What can I put in place for the bumps along the road? I (think!) I think that this is about so much more than what the scales say -it’s about changing my lifestyle to include more balance and rest. Worrying about failing and the feelings I had if this happens are only serving to keep me stuck.

Please let me know what you think x

 

Answer:

 

I love that you came up with questions to help you weave your way through the thoughts that you identified.

Like everything, our thoughts about our bodies exist on spectrums. The other option to disliking your body isn’t only liking your body – there are many alternatives. For example, learning to like parts of your body for now, or considering the idea that maybe it’s possible for you to love most of your body, or something that’s between shame and love. This is where ladder and bridge thoughts live – and those are so helpful when you’re doing new things. Where can you start to play with thoughts in the middle of the spectrum of this goal?

Only you know if it’s a dirty goal, or when it becomes a dirty goal – and it’s okay if you find yourself in that zone along the way. You can use your self-awareness to recognize it, address it, and redirect it. You’re a person learning a new skill, and learning is hard and cyclical. You can learn to steer your ship towards something healthy, and supportive of loving and accepting yourself.