Jealousy at work pt3

Thank you coaches – this is really helpful.

I think finding some confidence in ‘how to be’ as a teacher is something I definitely need to explore separately and this has given me clarity to see that.

In terms of my relationship with my co-teacher, I think it’s bringing up some contradictory emotions. On one hand, I find her very bossy and overpowering. She is always talking over me, telling me what to do and on one occasion has even ‘shhhed’ me in a meeting. This goes against the way I try to conduct myself – I go the other extreme, often not putting my views across properly in case I offend someone and worrying about how I come across / if people like me! So it brings up feelings of anger when she doesn’t behave in the same way! Normally I would avoid this type of character but we are forced together because of work. On the other hand, I know that she’s a good person with a good heart and doesn’t mean to upset me.

I think I need to find a way to put up some boundaries but not really sure how as she’s also very sensitve!

 

 

Answer:

What a great opportunity to learn how to care for yourself when you are in proximity to this kind of character.  I would offer that you notice the lens you are looking at her through.  “she is bossy and overpowering”. Imagine that is the name of a pair of glasses you are looking at this fellow human with. Notice how it colours everything she does and says. You may be absolutely right in your judgement of her. But look at how these glasses are affecting YOU and how YOU feel. Do you want to continue wearing them? There is no right answer, just a place to explore.

You have so many options available to you. Any time you want. What are some other glasses you’d like to try on and see if they fit better?