Lack of confidence / people pleasing in a meeting

I often do not speak up in meetings at work for fear that I am not right, will be judged etc. Here is today’s unintentional model:

C: Person proposes something that will adversely impact the quality of the project
T: I disagree, I should say something, but what if I am wrong?
F: Nervous
A: Don’t say anything.
R: Project quality suffers.

or
T: I should say something but what if they dislike me?
F: Stress
A: Indecision/don’t say anything.
R:Project quality suffers.

This can lead to more thoughts:
I have not done my job well > Guilt
I have disappointed other people on the team > Guilt
I am meek > Shame
I know what I had to say was the right thing to do > Disappointed

I have dyslexia, which leads to slow processing of information and I find it hard to articulate things on the spot. Although this could also be a thought. I think thoughts around my dyslexia exacerbate the problem:

C: Need to speak in a meeting
T: I can’t articulate myself well
F: Nervous
A: Don’t articulate myself well
R: Confidence downward spiral.

I didn’t know where to start with the intentional model other than:
C: Person proposes something that will adversely impact the quality of the project
T: I disagree, I will say something
F: Confident
A: Say something.
R: Project improves.

But it is too unlikely that I will think that! Thank you x

Answer:

Before we dive in, I want to remind you that thinking you’re unlikeable, inarticulate, unintelligent, a disappointment, or meek are your thoughts, not indisputable truths. Don’t forget to give equal airtime to your strengths. You no doubt have many!

That IM is a good starting place to outline an ideal way to respond, but of course it’s unlikely that you’ll think that now…you brain thinks it’s impossible for you at this point. Do I believe it’s possible for you to get there? Yes. Do I think you need to get there tomorrow in one giant leap? No. I don’t even think you need to get there this year if that’s not right for you yet. But I do think that you can take steps toward believing this could be possible for you sometime.

What if one of the first steps on this journey for you is to feel compassion for yourself where you are? What would you be able to do from that place? Try filling in this model and let us know what you discover and what comes up as a result…

C: Person proposes something that will adversely impact the quality of the project

T:

C: Self-compassion

A:

R: