Lack of connection to myself and intern lack of connection to my goals

I lived in Dubai for 8 years and ran a successful entertainment/ events business. During the pandemic, I became pregnant and moved back to the UK, closing my business. I have decided that running a business in this field doesn’t suit my needs anymore and that I would like to explore the path of becoming a doula.

I have noticed that since the shift of moving, closing my business and having my son , I have made myself small and am finding it hard to connect to my body, thoughts and feelings. I am doing the thought work but feel that I am almost writing things/ coming up with solutions that may not be completely genuine.

In the spring forward questions, Masie asked ‘what brings me to feel alive and makes me who I am’. I am still unable to answer this. It’s as if I have a ‘computer says no’ situation in my mind and body.

My son is now 1 years old, we are still breastfeeding/ co sleeping which allows me to have this deep connection to him and in-turn I am finding that a-lot of my energy is focused on him and I am wondering if that soul connection with him isn’t allowing me to connect to myself completely. I feel like a tree that has been uprooted and left in the middle of no where. I would like to move towards feeling more confident in my thoughts/ feelings and in turn moving towards my goals with more conviction as at the moment my action is to sit in the overwhelm, and numb myself with outward habits such as eating, spending money, scrolling and cleaning.

 

Answer:

I hear that you’re feeling overwhelmed, and if I had to take a guess, it might be coming from this idea: “I have to figure out what brings me to feel alive and makes me who I am, and I have to know what those things are RIGHT NOW.” Now, let’s run with your tree metaphor. Some wonderful things about trees are that they are slow growth experts, and that when they fall or become uprooted, they transform – to be clear, the transformation doesn’t always look or feel good right away, but it’s ALWAYS useful.

So let’s slow down and be the tree for a few minutes. What if your goal was to learn about what brings you to feel alive and makes you who you are at this particular point in time in your life given the changes you’ve undergone in the last two-ish years?

What Ts do you have about this? What feelings do those Ts create? If this feels good, what would be a small step you could take on your learning journey? If this doesn’t feel good, ask yourself why? The answer to either question will bring you one step closer to figuring out what needs attention so you can start moving. Come back for more coaching when you’re ready.