lack of self trust create stagnation for goal

Hello,
I have struggled for many years with disordered eating and body image. I decided for the summer to work on my anxiety around food and my body.

My goals is : befriending my body
My rocks are: – Letting go of counting my food and the idea of losing weight
– Focusing on fun in movement and sport
– Connecting with others

I have so far been doing all three, and this looks like a life I would rather live.

But I still am terrified of putting on weight. Letting go of counting food and being on holiday with my family means that I am eating more and as my goal is set I am not controlling anymore – and this is an uncomfortable place for me.

I am concisous that this is a happier way of living, but my fear of gaining weight, is blocking me into thinking that I might not actually want this goal or be ready to accomplish this goal. Also a lot of lack of self trust is coming up, and I am not creating safety for myself. I feel very naked without my counting and I feel very vulnearable and have had several anxiety moments about the thought of maybe gaining wieght.

As fear aroung gaining weight or not being on the right track is making me stagnate and coming up often, I would love help on a thought model that I could use when this happens to calm myself but also create safety.

Thank you so much,

Have a wonderful day!

 

 

Answer:

Of course you are terrified of gaining weight. You’ve practiced that for such a long time. It’s a perfectly normal response to what you are trying to do. Instead of seeing it as a problem, what if you just bring the fear with you? It is allowed to be in the car with you, but you are driving. Your destination is that goal you have for yourself. Big goals always bring up uncomfortable feelings. It’s a sign you are on the right track.

Safety will come when you embrace the anxiety. Bring it close, allow it, process it, nurture it. Love the part of you that feels scared and out of control. When you stop resisting, all that’s left is some sensations in your body and you can handle those.

C: I notice (insert description of sensations) in my body

T: What do you want to think about these sensations?

F: compassion

A: What would you do or not do when you feel compassion for yourself?

R: I am a friend to my body.

How does that land for you? Bring any follow up questions back for coaching.