Ladder thoughts on self-love (spring goal)

Hi dearest coaches!

I’d like to get your feedback on the ladder thoughts I’ve created for my Spring Goal. My intention is to read/repeat them every start of the day and before situations that can be challenging.

First of all: my spring goal is ‘I am loyal to myself, to who and how I am, always and everywhere.’ I started by doing a thought download on the current situation, thinking of moments when I was not loyal to myself. Out of those I selected the juiciest ones, resulting in 6 thoughts. With all of them I need bridge or ladder thoughts, working my way towards the positive thought. Some of the positive thoughts feel too ‘factual to me and I don’t feel them (yet?) in my body. Is this something that will shift as I start practicing with the neutral thoughts and getting more acquainted with them? Or do I need to rephrase them to help me with that?
I would love to get your feedback, suggestions or tips!

1.
POSITIVE: Even when I am myself 100%, there still will be people who want to hang out with me.
NEUTRAL: I am open to believing that I can be myself 100% and that there are still people who want to hang out with me.
NEGATIVE / OG: If I would be myself 100%, people would stop hanging out with me.

2.
POSITIVE: My value is set and I am worthy as I am. / My worth is separate from others and not connected to anything or anyone.
NEUTRAL: It is possible that my worth is also separate from others.
NEUTRAL: The worth of every person is separate from others.
NEGATIVE / OG: I am worth less than he/she/them.

3.
POSITIVE: I have the capacity & skills to process a (social) rejection and not let this mean anything about me/ my worth.
NEUTRAL: I am becoming someone who has the capacity & skills to process a (social) rejection and someone who doesn’t let this mean anything about her / her value.
NEUTRAL: You can learn the capacity & skills to process a (social) rejection and let this mean nothing about yourself / your value.
NEGATIVE / OG: I can’t handle his/her/their rejection.

4.
POSITIVE: There is no one else I can be better than myself right now. / My value is set and I am ‘good’ the way I am. / Someone’s approval or opinion does not influence my worth, as they are not related to each other.
NEUTRAL: Perhaps someone else’s approval or opinion doesn’t lower or increase my value because it’s unrelated.
NEUTRAL: Another person’s approval or opinion never lowers or increases one’s worth, as this is unrelated.
NEGATIVE / OG: Without his/her/their approval I am worth less or even nothing.

5.
POSITIVE: I accept myself and do not depend on anyone else’s potential acceptance of me.
NEUTRAL: I am becoming someone who accepts herself and who does not depend on anyone else’s acceptance.
NEGATIVE / OG: I have to adapt so that I can be accepted.

6.
POSITIVE: I’m going to lose and win people anyway in life, regardless of whether I’m 100% myself, so I might as well just be myself 100%.
POSITIVE: If I am myself 100% and then lose people, then this says nothing about my worth and at most, it frees up space (for more suitable people).
NEUTRAL: In life you lose people, but you also win (more suitable) people, regardless of whether you are yourself 100%.
NEGATIVE / OG: If I were myself 100%, I would lose people.

That was all 6 of ’em! Looking forward to your response!

 

Answer:

Great job recognizing your thoughts, were you want them to be, and the bridge thought.

If you don’t feel it in your body, then you are not ready to believe it. There is nothing going wrong. That is the purpose the bridge thoughts. How do you feel about your bridge thoughts?

If your bridge thoughts feel believable, then start by practicing there. As those thoughts strengthen, then you can approach your intentional/positive thought and see how it feels. If you still do not believe it, you may need to understand why you don’t believe it and explore that. You also may need to come up with another thought that is between your neutral thought and positive one.

Which of your positive thoughts feels factual? How do you want them to feel?