Learning to trust my intuition around men

Hello, sometimes I see other women who have boyfriends who seem really nice and I think ‘wow, she found such a nice boyfriend’. I’m not jealous of these women or want to steal their boyfriends, I’m literally just in awe that other women manage to find seemingly really nice guys. I have a difficult relationship with my brother and father who I experienced as bullies growing up. I’ve never allowed another man into my life. I think it’s a protection mechanism I developed. I usually have a really good intuition around people, but I don’t have it with potential partners. I think I feel quite overwhelmed around men / dating. I wonder if the first step would be to accept this fact. But I would also like to learn to trust myself with regard to this and I was wondering if you have any advice on where to start. Thank you in advance for your help.

 

 

Answer:

Do a gut check and see how it feels to accept this “I feel quite overwhelmed around men / dating.” as a thought you want to keep? Does it serve you? What result does it give you?

Do the same with this thought: I usually have a really good intuition around people, but I don’t have it with potential partners. Is it true? Does it serve you? Do you want to keep it?

It really doesn’t matter what your backstory with men is up until this point. If it’s not serving you you can just drop it. You could even question the belief that you need to be able to have good intuition to find a nice man who will love you. How many stories do we hear of people who didn’t notice or couldn’t stand their partners at first?

The way you learn to trust yourself is get out there and start talking to people and going on dates. Lots of dates. Lots of conversations. Lots of opportunities to fail and feel uncomfortable and in the process you’ll figure out what you want and you might find a lot of nice guys along the way plus some not so nice ones. That’s ok.

Create an intentional model and be very specific about what you want to do and when, for example R: I will go on 10 dates before 2023. Then get in the action line and set out how you’re going to do it. Your brain will come up with lots of reasons you can’t so just plan to overcome those obstacles. Then pick a thought and feeling to get you going and keep you going. Look at this like an experiment and be open to whatever happens next. What do you think?