Letting go without proper closure

Hi coaches, I am in a situation where I have made a mistake, have now corrected it without anybody noticing and am terrified that somebody will find out. Rationally I know that they won’t as for the people involved the subject is closed and nobody is going to look into it, but emotionally it’s a different story for me. Part of why I find it so challenging is that it feels like there was no proper closure as there usually is when you make a mistake and then correct it, usually by admitting your mistake and then the other person accepting your apology. It’s a situation at work and openly admitting to it at this point is genuinely not an option, so there won’t be any apology or acceptance of an apology. I struggle to find closure with it and to forgive myself for the mistake I made. Various models I have tried didn’t stick, including the ones where I tried the baby step thoughts, and I constantly have a voice in my head that shouts at me that I’m a liar, a cheat, and worse. I talk to myself like I would to a good friend, telling myself that yes, I made a mistake, and that I’m allowed to make mistakes and that I have made amends, but it’s not really getting through because I’m scared. I am regulating my nervous system all the time and it keeps it from getting worse, but it is still very exhausting, to the point where I find myself not wanting to just accept that the voice will be there for a good while longer. Any thoughts on how to approach this would be much appreciated. Thanks.

 

 

Answer:

If openly admitting it at work was an option, and you were able to do it, confess, apologize and accept what you have done, what would you get to feel?

What would you allow yourself to believe about you?

Whenever you are ready, you can create that feeling and believe the thoughts.

What if there isn’t a rush to feel better and you just allowed it to be uncomfortable for a while? See what comes up as you explore this. Bring back any questions or models for more coaching.