Losing weight

I have so many emotions around this topic and it’s taken me weeks to build up the courage to ask a coach about it. I mainly feel embarrassment at the topic because it seems so obviously not ok to ask a coach about my weight.

I have had a complicated journey with my weight. I am an actor and was a size 12 – 14 when I went to drama school 10 years ago, where I was promptly told I needed to either lose weight to play romantic leads or gain weight to play comedy parts. I dramatically lost weight via obsessive exercise and eating very little – even sadder, I am a huge foodie and so I went all in on the eat clean movement. I developed orthorexia (self diagnosed).

A few years into my career I then started to build a better relationship with my weight and exercise and food through my introduction to yoga which really changed my life – I loved moving my body in a way that felt good and non stressful.

Then three years ago I had my son. I loved pregnancy and really felt connected to my body. Motherhood was incredible but unbelievably challenging as my son never slept and therefore neither did I. My relationship to exercise became non existent and my food attitude became much more hand to mouth. I then had my daughter who is currently 9 months old.

I am now 4 stone heavier than when I got married at my thinnest (9.5 stone). I’m still breastfeeding and both my children are very demanding, and my husband is going though insomnia and depression so I’m bearing a lot of family responsibility.

My thoughts about my weight are constant. I feel I should lose weight to be ‘healthier’ but I find it so hard to clarify what is a fatphobic thought and what is a health orientated thought – I am obese as according to BMI (again a problematic scale I know!).

I think I just want to connect to my body more and make more time for yoga again. And I want it to be about connection to my body rather than weight loss. But then, I know that in order to actually lose weight I have to incorporate diet into that plan, not just exercise.

I feel pulled in two different directions – the antifatphobic direction and the health / exercise direction.

 

Answer:

Did you know that everyone who certifies at the Life Coach School is a life and weight coach? Of course you can ask anything here and we’re so glad you felt safe enough to do it. Your question will help so many people because unfortunately most people socialized as women have many thoughts and beliefs about their bodies and how they are tied to our worth. That’s where the pain comes in: your thoughts about your body and that’s what coaching is for.

Notice how your brain is wanting to stay stuck in confusion between two seemingly opposite options. It does this because it hates expending energy or doing different things. We have to be onto our brain when it does this. Thank your brain for trying to keep you safe but then you take back your power.

What do you think is the next step you could take to build more connection with your body? You already know the answer. Start there and don’t worry about the rest. Put it in your result line. Make it really easy. Trust yourself. Bring back any questions or models you create as you explore this.