Make Music Day – Part 3

Thank you for your questions they were very helpful.
1. Yes, I have confidence in social situations when I know the people, and when they are friendly and welcoming. I think I respond positively to positive people. Also I have confidence when there is something to talk about in common like the activity we are doing.
2. The worst that would happen is no worst thing would happen. It’s all in my head. It tells me that I have a lot of thoughts about myself not being good enough.
3.I realise that I do not need to concern myself with what other people think. It’s not even what they think, it’s what I think they might possibly be thinking and those thoughts have originated in my own self doubt, lack of self confidence and self esteem.

What is coming up is a realisation that I just put myself down a lot of the time. I thought that because I don’t say the classic “you’re stupid” or “you’re a failure” that the books always talk about, that my self esteem issues aren’t so bad and I don’t have too much inner critic, but in fact I do. I also feel anger that I am letting these thoughts hold me back all the time. I think it has got worse since Covid and also since I stopped working as I don’t have so many social interactions as I used to and my brain has started trying to keep me safe by not wanting me to do stuff.
Wow that’s really helpful, thank you.
My new model is:
C- Activity or social where I might meet new people
T- It’ll be a good opportunity to practice my social skills
F- Look forward to it
S- Bubbling up a bit (not sure – need to practice my feelings as well)
A- go and chat to people and if I get the feeling that I’ve run out of things to say then think of a question to ask them.
R- improve my ability to socialise and talk to people and get more out of life. Stop hiding away.

 

Answer:

 

This is beautiful. What introspection! We cannot wait to hear about you leaning into this model. I wonder if you can account for your humanness – when you start to feel some resistance to this model, where can you allow some softness (like, “Of course my brain is telling me not to go – that’s what we’ve been practicing for a long time,” or something like that), or room for imperfection when it comes to believing that it’ll be a good opportunity to practice your social skills?

Nice work here. Let’s keep coaching on it.