Making a big decision

I’m reintegrating back I my old job after being sick on burnout for 2 years . It’s going ok but not sparking joy. In my recovery , I’ve been exploring the green scene in my neighbourhood. Volunteering in a garden with diverse women focused on healing , signing up for garden courses, starting a foundation course on herbalism. I love it and it gives me Joy especially hanging out with other green folks . As the end of my herbal foundation course comes up, I’ve been exploring the idea of continuing with the professional course which would start in September. The professional courses online it runs from 4 to 6 years and would cost something around 3 to 4000 pounds. It feels like a big commitment. Am in just going through a phase ? A fancy .? I wonder if I’m able to pull it off whilst also going back to work I’m currently doing 2 and 1/2 days a week. I worried that if I take this on, I might be taking on too much on my plate. I haven’t even finished all the modules of the foundation course so how can I even think about doing the professional course which would require more discipline and rigor to keep up-to-date. I can’t even keep up to date with the flow collective and missed the 30 day challenge . The deadline for signing up for the professional courses 5 August so I need to decide if I’m going to take this up or not. I could wait up to two years before making this decision. But I’m thinking what’s the point of waiting another two years if I know I already like it I may as well give it a go and try it out, but it still feels like a big decision. Could it mean that I have to quit work and then I wouldn’t have an income. So if you can see a lot of thoughts going on in my head, I’ve had to go doing some models and I’ve been grateful for some advice.

C. Deadline for professional course is fifth of August..

S. Headache

F. Panicky

T: it’s crazy to apply for this when you’re still reintegrating back at work.

A. Keep thinking of reasons not to do it, talk myself out of it , ruminating , more thoughts that won’t have time

R. Same as above

Intentional

T. This is possible
S. Flutters
F: hopeful
A. Look into details of how many hours required did course , experiment with last month I have to see if I can create rigorous schedule, look up career as herbalist

R. I get more facts and evidence if I can pull it off

Another model

T. This is my calling.
S. Butterflies
F. Excited
A: look into details , figure out hours , look at my finances to see if I can quite job to make hours

R. Develop a sensible plan

 

Answer:

 

It sounds so thrilling to feel like you’ve found your calling! Such a cool thing.

Why is this a big decision? What if it’s just a decision? When you take the big out of it how does it change?

It sounds like even though you have two years to decide whether to take the professional course, your brain is telling you it’s now or never. What other options are available to you? If you had all the space in the world to make this decision, what would you be doing or thinking differently? Is there any chance that way of thinking is available to you today? Why or why not?