Making Decisions

I have been finding it difficult to decide when my decision is impacting my children. I am feeling a lot of doubt and fear. I need to decide if I will continue to homeschool my children or if they will attend public school this fall. I have been making decisions including big life decisions (such as moving countries and homes.) quite easily. I consider my ability to make decisions one of my strengths. That is why this is more puzzling to me now that I am struggling to decide. The though in my head is that there is no room for failure. I imagine that such though is not serving me and yet it feels so strong! What is it about this decision that is tripping me up? Thank you so much!
Context: I have been homeschooling my daughter for the past 3 years. During her last year of her preschool, I saw something in her that made me pause and wonder what it was that I was seeing. It made me become more curious. I started learning more about child development and different learning styles. I was a working full time away from home up to that point. She was enrolled to start kindergarten while I explored different options. I learned about homeschooling and instantly had a very strong feeling about it and decided to homeschool her. I reduced my work and started working from home while homeschooling. At that time, I was a one – year decision. Covid happened halfway through her kindergarten year and homeschooling became a new term for most parents.
Now three years later I am wondering if my child should be in public school and at the same time the same strong reasons for which I decided to homeschool in the first place persist. I am experiencing a lot of doubt if I am making the best choice for her. My younger child will be kindergarten age in the fall so the decision to homeschool now impacts two kids.
I am raising my children in US which is a different culture, language and county from where and how I was brought up. Homeschooling is not legal in my home country. Homeschooling is not the norm in the US, but there are enough people homeschooling so there is some community. I have worked hard to manage my mind to no longer care what others think of my choices, but I am not fully immune to the pressures and society expectations that the kids are expected to be in school.

 

Answer:

Let’s take a a look at your model to understand better.
C: Decision to do home school vs public school
T: There is no room for failure
F: Fear
A: Do not make a decision, think about how home school is not the norm here and illegal in my country, do not explore my reasons for wanting to home school (why the feeling persists)
R: I fail to decide

It is the thought that you could fail that stops you from deciding, so let’s explore that.
What would it mean to make a decision and fail?
If you make a decision, and consider it not the best decision for your family, what are your options?

The way it is written sounds like if you make a decision that is not a good fit for your family for whatever reason that you are stuck in that decision. This thought is stopping you from seeing all the options, and the choices you continue to have.

Another way to look at it is how did you make your other big decisions to move countries? Seeing what your thoughts were in making those decisions and how you viewed failure there may also help to see if you can use those same thoughts with this decision.

So if you could not fail, what would you decide?