Managing rejection in my career – PT 2

Hi,

Thank you for your coaching on this, it has been incredibly eye opening so I wanted to share some of the things that have come up.
Firstly, I LOVE the idea of deliberately having a rejection goal – and making that the goal, rather than for example submitting a certain amount of pitches.
I can see that this would have sooo many positive outcomes: I’d show myself I can survive rejection, and manage the discomfort it, and stop taking it as personally. I actually think it could help my pitching improve too, based on feedback and rejection info, and quite possibly in the case of freelancing lead to me getting even more commissions and increasingly the likelihood of success because I’m casting the net wide. And that ultimately this would change my core relationship with rejection – helping me to befriend it and see it as a measure of taking powerful action. Which would have major benefits in so many parts of my life outside, from freelancing to the book, to dating… and allow me to step into my power here and be seen and expand into what I know is possible for me.
Love the hero’s journey analogy too! Because it makes it all sound fun and adventurous, rather than solely terrifying and painful and uncomfortable…
And, the final part about what I make rejection mean – when I listed my reasons an idea might not get chosen, I realised that none of them were about me as a person, or a writer, or my worth: they were all about the other person, their specific circumstances etc.

Something big that came up here about pitching ideas for work and being rejected was: ‘this is not the same as being rejected or abandoned by a parent’. And initially seeing it as separate. But then I realised: this was never about me either. My mum behaved the way she did because of her own trauma and being unable to handle it – I know, deep down, it was never because she didn’t want me. I experienced some of her behaviour as ‘rejection’, yes, and I know that’s valid, but I was also her child – and it was about her ultimately, not me (or my worth or lovability).

Essentially, I think there’s a lot here around the befriending and depersonalisation of rejection – and what it can unlock for me in future; as well as healing my past understanding of it, which may have been holding me back for a long time.

I am excited to get started with my rejection goal for February! Any additions you have on this topic – especially around the family reflections would be much appreciated too.

Thanks so much

 

 

Answer:

So good. What wins do you see here? Own them. Be proud of you. You’re right, it was never about you. Give yourself loads of compassion as you continue exploring your family dynamics and how they affected you. Even when we understand more about our parents, it’s still important to acknowledge your own experience and allow all emotions for as long as you need.

What is one thing you can do to heal your past understanding?

What’s one obstacle that you feel you are ready to let go of?  You always have the power to choose what you believe.