Membership question. should I stay or should I go?

Hi! TW: mentioning of mental health and suicide.

I have just read for the 4th time through the ‘how to cancel your membership’ paragraph ever since I started being a member of the flow collective in April. The reason I am thinking to (at least for now) cancel my membership is, that I feel that everything in my life currently tells me to go slower, to minimize (especially online) stimulation and content that makes me ruminate too much about ‘how I can improve myself’ and to in general just focus on just one thing at a time. Although I felt super motivated in november to hopefully join the tfc soon, in April when the doors actually opened, I did feel different about it, because everything already felt like too much and I felt already then the need to ‘scale down’. To give some context: I started therapy this year, had a major loss of a friend who committed suicide and I just learned that I may have had ADHD all my life while also just trying to recover my business as a freelance singer after 2+ years of pandemic. And what I want now is to focus on what’s at hand first, which is to learn more about potentially having ADHD (maybe looking to get assessed) and getting therapy. I still am super into learning more how to work with my cycle and I have for sure benefitted a lot from the content I was able to process so far, but right now I think what I need is ‘less is more’, and for me that may look like, re-reading period power again, cycle tracking and listening to the podcast episodes. I was also thinking to eventually join again the next time TFC opens again (as I said, I already felt in April, that the timing suddenly doesn’t feel as right as it did in november). So my question is: have I maybe already answered my question ? A part of me feels definitely shame about wanting to cancel for now (thought: I should stick with what I started, quitting is like giving up on myself), and that is probably one of the reasons I am asking this question, to get more clarity about what might be going on. Thank you so much for your support and all the amazing work you all do here!

 

Answer:

This is a very important question that only you can answer.

The Flow Collective is here as a tool to understanding and support. Only you know if you need and/or want the tool at this time. You can decide if this is where you need/want to spend your energy.

Doing models often helps to understand your decision.
Based on what you said, they may look like this:
C: Discontinuing membership with TFC
T: Less is more
F: ??
A: Focus on my potential ADHD diagnosis
A: Read period power
A: Track cycle
A: listen to podcast
R: I am more (Meaning, you are making your needs most important. You are confident of what you need and you are worth making those decision)
or
R: I am less (Meaning, I don’t give myself enough credit for what I want/need)

Which result depends on what feeling is driving this. If it is a feeling like confidence or self assured, then you are treating yourself as more. If the feeling driving it is something like fear or anxiousness, then you may be treating yourself as less.

Which does it seem to you?

This is why only you know what is best for you. You know the feeling driving the decision. You know what you need. We support whatever decision you make, so what will it be?