Mixed emotions around work – stuck

The thing that’s coming up for me when I try to think and feel my way to feeling content is “inauthentic.”

Perhaps just writing that has undone the lock because I’m resisting what’s behind it.

C. Telling people about my new job brings discomfort

T. This job is a messy, imperfect first step towards independence

F. Giddy

S. Eyes well up, emotion pulses in body

A. Tell people what I’m doing without explanation or apology

R. Perhaps the ultimate R is different – I’m becoming someone who responds to my need as it is, however difficult it feels.

 

Answer:

 

Let’s push pause on the R line for just a moment – I think you’re right that the ultimate R is different, but I’m wondering if your A line could inform it a bit more. I’m curious about what else you do when you feel giddy because you think, “This job is a messy, imperfect first step towards independence.” I’d be willing to guess that your R line is a little bit along the same lines – you allow yourself to move through this with messy and imperfect steps, perhaps? Let’s see what the A line illuminates!