Model about Time Part 3

I really like the changes in the second model. In the first, I am somewhat resisting cutting the part about not enjoying the work I did since that is such a big part of it or is it just not a good idea to keep the feeling in the results line as well? granted “I find evidence that I am not moving fast enough, I do not work efficiently and enjoy everything less/feel shitty about my work” is quite a mouthful.

I would like to start by asking you why it’s a problem that you aren’t working fast or efficiently enough :
I already feel like I need to catch up because it feels like time is moving so fast now that I am better and optimal efficiency is the only way to keep up because I want to do so many things the less time I need for each one thing the more things I can do, I used to be faster and feel like my brain should be able to perform at that pace again, other people are faster and able to do so much more in a day, I might not finish in time or do a good enough job according to my standards, specifically with this seminar I can’t yet tell whether I will do a good job so I want to make sure I do everything I can, I believe it would make things easier, a reason for not working efficiently is time going into buffering which is neither fun nor helpful and the act of time speed on it frustrates me even more, that I won’t get to where I want to be in time to have the career and life I want and to get back to get my independence back

and that you don’t think you learned your lesson the first time. What do these two things mean about you?
that I am slow, that I am wasting time, that I am making my life unnecessarily hard, that I am stupid for not just getting these simple things done faster, that my brain sucks for needing so much time to get around to doing slightly uncomfortable things or making decisions, that I am not disciplined enough and need to rely on my brain getting used to things or wait until I get the resolve to get over buffering and to the task at hand, that I can’t catch up/keep up with others and thus not employable

 

 

Answer:

 

Okay, this is SO GOOD. Look at all the investigating has uncovered! You mentioned optimum efficiency. What does that mean to you – get really factual about it…how much will you get done in a day working at optimum efficiency – and do you like your definition? Is it reasonable for a human? Is it reasonable for YOU?

And, do the stories your brain says that ‘not having learned your lesson’ and not working fast or efficiently enough contribute to or prevent you from moving closer to your goal? Shame is a terrible motivator, as is overwhelm. Get compassionate and curious here.

I wonder if you have some black-and-white thinking going on – you’re either working at optimum efficiency, or you’re backsliding. Is there a chance that there’s something in between these two extremes that would work for you? You’re not a robot, and you’re not a potato. You’re a human – a human who is learning and growing and feeling something uncomfortable right now. How can you meet yourself in this place with love? What would love open the door for when it comes to how you talk to yourself about time?