Model Feedback

Circumstance: Lying in bed with my husband after returning from a trip away
Thought: He’s not pleased to see me
Feeling: Rejected
Action: Ask him over and over ‘What’s wrong?’, Say, ‘It feels like you’re not pleased to see me’, Become needy, ask him to hug me, tell him I need love.
Result: Keep pushing/annoying him until he actually rejects me

 

Answer:

Great start to this model!

One thing to point out is what we create is always about ourselves. We do not know what your husband thinks, feels or will do.

So if we focus the result on you, what do you think about R: I am not pleased with myself.

If you felt pleased with yourself, would you need his feedback? That does not mean you don’t want it. You would not need it though to feel good about yourself.

If we think about the model, what he does is not what makes you feel loved. What you think about what he does is what makes you feel loved. It is those thoughts and not the actions that create that feeling.

What comes up for you as you read this? You can bring back your answer for more coaching.