Model: “I am too lazy”

Hi there! I would love to ask for your thoughts on my model and new intentional thoughts – do they seem ‘clean’? Can you spot anything else in the unintentional model that may need attention? Thanks!

C: My work rate / “productivity”
T: I am too lazy
F: Dejected
S: Sinking feeling in pit of stomach
A:
– Blame myself for not being ‘lazy’ (i.e. not doing ‘enough’ work) – even though I have now identified this as a capacity problem
– Self-criticism for not being able to ‘do more’
– Compare and Despair
– Feel flat, low energy, unmotivated
– Don’t get out of bed in the morning
– Focus on the negative feelings (headaches, brain-full, sadness, overwhelm)
– Tell myself I’m setting ‘low’ expectations and then still don’t meet them
– Choose to do other non-work tasks
– Distract myself
– Blame and shame
– Drag my feet on the routines I’ve put in place to help motivate myself
– Don’t leave the house or get enough fresh air
– Feel sorry for myself
– Make excuses
– Allow my brain to spin / create other “problems”
– Obsessive thoughts
– Rumination
– Obsessively going through my diary a million times a day
– Obsessively tracking my mental state and resources a million times a day
R: I create / spend / waste a LOT of mental energy on making myself feel bad about “not having any mental energy”

Observations: my actions here are far from “lazy”. In fact, I’m actually creating a HUGE amount of mental energy and doing way too much thinking, I’m just putting all the energy into unhelpful thoughts. I am abdicating self-responsibility.

Why have these stories (I am too lazy) served me in the past? Perhaps because I had undiagnosed autism, so knew deep down that I had a lot of potential, and instinctively knew that I wasn’t achieving it, but didn’t know why, so made up the story that it must be my fault, and I am too ‘lazy’, because everyone else around me is achieving their potential, and if I’m not, it must be because I’m doing something wrong.

What stories might serve me better now?

I have so much mental energy at my disposal.
I get to choose where I put my energy today.

Answer:

Such good work to notice how much work you are doing in your mind.   Normally we would give you more questions to explore. We could look at the root of what is underneath the thought “I’m too lazy.” We could look at more strategies for getting things done.  But what I sense is you need LESS not more.

What I want you to do is think of one simple,kind, loving thought that you believe about yourself. Take no more than 3 minutes to choose one and go with it.  When you notice your mind racing throughout the day, pause. Breathe. Repeat your loving thought. Right now you don’t need to DO more. Just notice, pause and love.  See what happens and come back for more coaching when you’re ready.