Models of seeking support

Hi,
While on holiday recently, my mum had a secret operation…. and didn’t tell any of us. We found out the day we got back. I was with my dad and sister, and even he hadn’t been told.
I felt a spectrum of emotions around this. Relieved she’d had it (we knew she’d need it at some point soon, but thought she was still on the waiting list) and glad she was ok. Angry that if something had happened we wouldn’t have known or had a chance to speak to her before. Frustrated that she’d put this on my dad, and all of the consequences for other ppl (she cares for our grannies – so nothing was planned in to support them).
Also I have felt something a bit more personal – angry that she has never modelled to us, healthy ways to tapping into your support networks. Although we were shocked by the news, it wasn’t a surprise based on her previous behaviour.
I do feel better about it now, but I wanted to explore some of this further, as it has been a shock. And I don’t want to internalise her attitude of thinking she has to go through things alone and not burden people, that she’s not worthy of support etc……. As I don’t think that is truly taking responsibility for herself.
Any thoughts on this much appreciated.
Thank you

 

Answer:

 

This is a great exploration to undergo. Tell us more about why you want to explore this and what you are most curious about when it comes to you in this situation. Your answer will help us steer the coaching in a meaningful direction as we continue the conversation around this and your concerns about your mother. Some questions to consider are, why did you feel angry? What thoughts does this bring up about your mother? What thoughts does it bring up about you?