Models On Work Part 3

Unfortunately since the last entry the project has been brought up again and I am having to do the filming this coming Friday.
I am still feeling the thought “I really don’t want to do this”, but I know going in to it with that thought is only going to make it worse.
I am trying to lean into the possibility that this could be good for me in terms of teaching me something about myself or creatively progressing or something along those lines; anything positive I can take from the situation to help ease the heaviness and dread I feel about it.
My manager posed the idea of it being better that I travel to the person I am filming with because they would have a better chance of scouting models to be involved, but I’ve already secured using a local studio and even volunteering myself as model (we need 4 altogether so I thought volunteering would make it less of an anxiety-inducing that I won’t get 3 other models in time). However, I just don’t want to travel. That would mean me travelling 2hrs instead of 30-40mins for the shoot and the idea of travelling further for it puts me off even more.
Although other days were offered up, I chose this Friday because I would be in Autumn, whereas the other days meant I was in Winter and I’ve struggled mentally, energy wise and pain wise in Winter recently and don’t like the idea of being away from home and my own comforts on those days. So I’ve tried to make it easier for me, especially seeing as I already have to do something I don’t want to do. I feel bad for the other person travelling though although they don’t seem to mind travelling for work as much as me.

Here is my attempt at the model from the last entry…
C: Thought: I don’t have a choice to push back on being involved in this project.
T: I don’t want to do this, even after pushing back but having to do it 
F: Heaviness, dread 
S: Shoulders and chest 
A: Continue to dread the filming, plan to keep it as simple as possible to make it easier for myself (during and editing after) 
R: Worry I come across as not caring about it to my manager because internally I don’t care about it for me

What I am looking from my vent is possibly some help or guidance, on what I’m not sure – possibly just how to reframe it. Or how it’s a no for me but I’m doing it and how I can honour that. I think reframing this will be the only way to “suck it up” positively. Thanks coaches!

 

 

Answer:

One of my favorite ways to get unstuck in a situation like this is to really dig in to the story I’m telling. What is actually true in this case? Where are you using the past to inform the future? That’s completely natural AND if you notice it’s creating obstacles, you don’t have to believe yourself.

The saying goes “Everything we think is made up. If you’re going to be delusional, do it in a way that serves you.”

What choices can you own, right now?

What thoughts can you question or throw out, right now?

What if you’re totally wrong about how this is going to go and what you can handle?  Be the hero in your own story.