Money and space

Dear coaches,
I have an issue about money and the space I‘m taking up. I‘m living in a 3room apartment on my own (before it’s been a shared flat and I took it over a year ago to have my studio here). The rent is – for my feeling and like in every other capital city – high. But I can afford it because I‘m earning enough money and because I know my numbers in detail and I‘m budgeting like 2 years in advance ( I feel as a freelancing artist I have to take care of my money very well)
But here‘s the thing: I have very deep and nibulous thoughts like ‚I‘m not allowed to take up so much space‘, ‚As an artist I shouldn‘t earn so much money‘, ‚next year (or any other year in the future) everything will go wrong‘
I‘ve seen the money webinars with Serena Hicks and Debbie Sassen and it resonates to me so much. It seems to me that I‘m feeling the inherited feeling of oppression and dependency of women. And that I‘m at the upper limit of the thermostat where I allow myself to spend money on me.
‚I‘m giving myself the permission to take up so much space as I want to‘ is my key thought right now.
And another one is ‚I‘m giving myself the permission to budget my money as I want to‘
And I‘m relying on my ability to handle the situation I‘m currently in.
Do you have any more impulses for me, why it feels so weird and forbidden to take up ‚lot‘s of‘ space?
And the other thing is about earning much money: I think I already got better in receiving it, but I‘m in constant fear that I could loose it again or that I won’t be successful in the future. As the pandemic started in 2020 I used the time to educate myself financially. Since then I‘m investing in ETFs and I‘m budgeting. But still it feels like a very deep disbelief that money will stay with me.

 

 

Answer:

Isn’t money work fascinating? You may want to figure out why you are thinking it feels forbidden to take up space but it’s not necessary for you to move forward. We can notice thoughts our brain offers, decide if they are useful, and let them go if they are not.
Try doing a thought download on what taking up space even means. Your brain has decided it’s a fact and you are definitely taking up lots of space.
What it sounds like to me is you have a job that pays the bills and a roof over your head. So what?
See what comes up and bring it back to AAC.