Dear Coach, thank you for your answer!
I have been thinking about what you wrote, and I really like your suggestions.
To the first R:
R: I do not see the value in the choices that I have made
This is definitely the result I am getting. I worked back on the model so I could understand it better. Here it is:
C – Choices I made workwise
T – The choices I made are not good
F – Unsatisfied, frustrated
A – I don’t fully engage with what is. I keep thinking of other possibilities on what to do next. I keep thinking there is something better.
R – I do not see the value in the choices I have made.
C – Choices I made workwise
T – I made the right choices
F – Clear. Decisive. Committed.
A – I lean into the work with more commitment. I appreciate the things I am learning from my work. I allow myself to grow in this work.
R – I see the value in the choices I’ve made
I am not sure about the T line. I know I can decide it, but can I really? I feel some doubt here.
I also explored your question on “Why I feel guilty for not having more money”.
I understood that it has a lot to do with the expectation I have learned to have of myself due to what my father and brother achieved in life. They are working in the university, they followed the “normal path”. I was the one deviating, following my gut and deciding to work with movement. In my eyes, I failed them. I failed myself.
On the other hand, staying on that path was for my past self, not a possibility. I was feeling sick and could not do it anymore. My thought is that working at the university, and doing the right thing as my family did, is the only way I could really make money.
C – Feeling guilty about not having more money
T – There is no other for me of getting money beyond academia
F – Overwhelmed, hopeless
A – I work on other things with an attitude of “this will not give me enough” or “this is less”, I keep imagining where I would be if I would have chosen that other path, I don’t trust my decision of leaving academia
R – I keep believing the thought and end up not creating the money I can because I did not follow the academic path
C – Feeling guilty about not having more money
T – I can create money beyond academia
F – Curious, creative, trustful, open
A – I open my senses to other things, I try out things knowing that I am learning a new thought,
R – I get to create the money I want beyond academia
Really looking forward to hearing your thoughts on these ones!
Answer:
Wonderful to see you back here having done some exploration and continuing to both ask good questions and cultivate more awareness around your relationship to money. Before we dive into your models, I’d like to address your question about whether or not you can actually decide your own Ts.
The short answer is yes. Why do you feel doubt about deciding what goes in your T line? Your answer will give you some insight as to why it’s hard to fully get behind the idea that you get to choose what you think.
Onto your models. First of all, they are pretty darn solid. I do want to point out that you answered the question of why you feel guilty with, “I was the one deviating…I failed them. I failed myself,” but you didn’t create models from them. Why not? Although your models are strong, when I read your T lines, it seems like they aren’t answers to the question, “Why do you feel guilty about not having more money?”
How would your models be different if you used the thoughts: ‘I was the one deviating. I failed them. I failed myself.’ in models?
Next, I wonder what you think about plugging these into your IM:
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This guilt doesn’t have to define my future.
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I’m learning to believe that I have not failed myself.