Money (Loan from a friend)

Hi beloved Collective and Coaches,
I am in a difficult situation. I need money to start my business and relied on a family member who broke his promise. I have been struggling for a long time and want to go to a new level. Bring myself into solid grounds…
Now before going to a bank I could ask a friend who has a lot of money and also told me I could always ask her to lend me money. But I’m very scared to ask her, because I’m scared she could judge me or tell me no and that it will have an impact on our friendship.
Of course we would have to make a contract and so on.
I guess I’m scared because of many reasons :
1. my relationship with money is very difficult. I worked on it for quite some time now. But I’m always fearful. Because I was always in a situation of not having enough and being scared if a next job is coming etcpp
2. i know about this friend that I can rely on her, but that she is sometimes wheeling/dealing when it comes to her finances. Meaning : I really would have to make a contract.
3. and I’m very scared to lose the friendship, because money and friendship is not a good combination.

What should I do? Prepare myself and ask her? Or write it down in a letter, rather then talking about it? I find it quite difficult to ask orally, but maybe it’s also a step in the right direction. Having the courage to ask?
I want to move forward. I want to think that it’s okay to ask, and trust myself in the process, but the fear is bigger momentarily.
Thank you for any hint and advice!
Lots of love !!!

 

Answer:

 

Let’s look at something that you mentioned here – money and friendship is not a good combination. This is just a thought, and probably one that you have had so many times that it seems like an undeniable truth. But let’s stretch your brain a little bit. Is it possible that this isn’t the only truth out there about friendships and money? What else might be true about friendships and money?

It’s okay to feel afraid. Courage doesn’t feel good – it’s not an emotion that people tend to revel in. In fact, it feels a lot like anxiety, which can also feel a lot like excitement. Envision the version of you that has already asked your friend for financial support, complete with a contract. What would you have done to make this happen? What wouldn’t you have done? How would you have had to feel to be able to take those actions? What thought or thoughts create this feeling for you? See if you can come up with a few models of this version of you and notice what comes up – what wisdom you reveal for yourself. Come back for more coaching when you’re ready.