Money mindset / Thinking about canceling my membership

Ok, so I’ve been thinking of canceling my membership ever since I first subscribed to The Flow Collective, which sounds so weird now that I write that down and I’m laughing at myself a bit. The reasons I have in my mind are: “This is too expensive for me”, “I need to prioritize other payments” and the biggest one “I shouldn’t be spending that much”. Also, I’ve never paid so much for anything mental health related, mostly because I didn’t have a job that allowed me to do that, or because I’d prioritize everyone (family members, things for the house, my boyfriend, friends, even my cats) before me and it was only until this year that I finally got a job that allows me to invest in myself and save money, and so, I decided to finally pay for my membership. The last couple of years I learned that I need to prioritize and spend the money on me or else I’ll just let time pass me by and fall into inaction while paying for everyone else’s stuff. I have a lot of things that I need to buy like clothes, shoes, art supplies, and things that will help me grow like this subscription, but I feel that I need to prioritize and not do all at once (choosing either something I need or the subscription, but not both in a month) because it still feels terrifying to spend more money on me than I’m used to. My thoughts are that I could be making a mistake, what if I get fired or lose my job and then realize having bought stuff for personal growth was just me being spoiled? I saw the money replays and they helped a lot to understand my relationship with money (I think I’ll rewatch them after this) but cutting on my expenses just feels so safe and reassuring! And it feels baaad to spend all this on me and yoga classes and coaching; I feel terribly wasteful. There are underlying judgments that I’m being dumb with my money and I don’t know how to handle it and that it’s not fair that I have a lot for me. I would just like to own and enjoy my money while feeling safe that I could survive another pandemic or a couple of months without a job. I’m also feeling silly for not having a good question to ask, but I guess I’m asking for help on how to start changing my money mindset and transition into one that allows me to own and enjoy my money? I already decided not to cancel my membership because it’s great, it’s useful and it’s already given me a lot, but I can see myself hiding from my bank account after this month’s payment and I fear that I’ll just start restricting myself more after that. Anyways, thank you so much for this space and for giving me the option to think this through before clicking on the cancellation button.

 

 

Answer:

There are no silly questions, thank you for bringing this here for coaching. When we talk about money, there is math and there is drama. The math is just a bunch of numbers in a bank account. The drama is the story we tell about it. Most of us have a lot of money drama, that’s not a problem but as you’ve identified that it’s affecting you in a way you don’t like, it’s ok to start making a shift. This is a perfect turning point for you as you’ve made a decision to stay, the question is: Now what?

Your goal is lovely, you can put it in a model and build from there.

C: Money

T: What would you need to think to create this feeling? Try a thought that’s focused on you, not money.

F: How would you need to feel to take this action?

A: What would you do and not do to create this result?

R: I own and enjoy my money

This is a process and the reward is the growth. Open up to lots of failure and uncomfortable emotions as you start this journey to having a better realtionship with money. What do you think will be your first step?  We’re here to support you all along the way. Please bring any questions back for more coaching.