Money tied to self-worth

Hi,
As part of some recent coaching on celebrating my career wins and seeking an increase to my day rate at a part-time job I do, a big theme that has come up is money.
I’ve just finished my first year as a freelancer, and I wasn’t focussing on this with as much energy as I’d have liked as I was also working on a book proposal – this was intentional, and part of a course correction particularly in the last few months to prevent burnout.
Although there were a few months where I was going hard on freelancing – and really earning a decent amount – over spring / summer, my overall earnings this year have been pretty low. Like in the early £20ks. And when I was employed full time I was on £45k.
I got vr from my last job, and this helped me to break even with the savings I had at the end of last year and this year.
But, I’m very aware that money needs to be a bigger theme of next year. I feel some sadness about not advocating as much for myself around it this year, as well as some anxiety over it. It’s been a long time since I was able to save money (as I took a gap to go travelling after that last higher paying job, and then did a lower one when I came back before going freelance).
Essentially, I haven’t earned that rate for a few years now, and I don’t regret my choices – because I’ve essentially invested in levelling up into a much more powerful and happier me, with a life that’s way more authentic, where I’m going after what I want and feel like I’m really living! Whereas I know if I’d stayed in the previous workplace I wouldn’t have been able to do that, as i was so unhappy and not able to bring my full self to work.
But I do feel this sense of low self-worth around my income this year. Which I think is a shame, instead of feeling proud that I’ve managed to make money to sustain myself at all! I would like more money next year and for that to be more of an intentional goal. But I also don’t want to feel like a failure for not having as much now.
Do you have any tips on not tying money to my self-worth right now, while also embracing going after what I’m worth financially in future?
Thank you

 

 

Answer:

It could be interesting to do some journaling around what money means to you. What do you think about people who make 20k/year or less. 45k? More? What labels do you put on them? What have you heard other people close to you saying about people at these income levels? What about the society around you? Really explore.

What if it’s ok that your self worth feels tied to your income right now? How is that completely understandable?

We would offer that you look at your final question again. See if you can frame it in a different way where the amount of money you make is not tied to your worth at all. How could it just be fun?