Monotonous feeling

I often feel like a bit monotonous and thought about it… Maybe I don’t let myself be happy or totally excited, because I think something bad could come up/interfere and that I should be prepared with not being happy.
Doesn’t make sense at all! And laughing a bit about it, but I think I’ve really done this for years. I think, that it’s probably, because I’m afraid of uncomfortable feelings, but with not feeling the positive ones I actually already feel uncomfortable feelings/”neutral” like monotonous. I’ve journaled about it. Maybe spending a lot of time in from of a screen or scrolling on instagram is amplifying this monotone feeling. And also not resting enough? Because when I’m tired, I feel more monotonous too.

I’m scared to show excitement/happiness or other feelings sometimes. In front of my boyfriend it’s so much easier. I feel safe and can talk about everything. Not sure why, because I’ve had a great childhood, but in from of my parents or friends sometimes too I struggle to be vulnerable/show how I really feel. Not sure what exact thought is behind it: What do they think of me. I don’t deserve to feel happy, when other people go through a lot. I always feel so nervous. I don’t know what I’m feeling most of the time….

I hope this tangle of my thoughts made sense 🙂

 

 

Answer:

Tangles of thoughts are our favorite! Brene Brown said the most vulnerable feeling is Joy because we think that if we let ourselves be joyful then we are inviting disaster. Our brain then starts coming up with all the terrible things that could happen to us. You are in good company with all the rest of us humans! It makes total sense AND you can want to experience emotions differently.

What if you did know what you are feeling? Try this week to just go through your day as normal but just name your emotions in your mind. Don’t let yourself say you don’t know, if you can’t indentify a word just describe the vibrations in your body. You can’t get this wrong. It’s ok if the emotions aren’t strong or they seem similar to each other. All you need to do is start paying attention. Each day, write down something you felt and why. Keep it simple. See what comes up and bring it back for more coaching. Here is a sample model you could try as you beginshowing your brain you do experience emotions.

C: Me

T: What would you need to think about you to create this feeling?

F: How would you need to feel to drive these actions?

A: pay attention to my emotions, describe my emotions, name my emotions, write a simple journal entry daily about an emotion I felt, what else would you add here?

R: I notice my emotions for one week