Mortgage and anxiety

Last Friday we went to view a house for the first time, the following Tuesday we put an offer in, on Thursday we increased the offer slightly, and on Friday our offer was accepted.

I am now feeling extremely anxious about the mortgage.

The house is absolutely beautiful, which is also bringing up stuff about me deserving such a beautiful house as my first home.

The main anxiety is around the repayments. Because it all happened so quickly I only had time to do some rough and quick calculations to see if me and my partner could afford the repayments.

However, in my head I was not expecting the offer to be accepted. I was expecting that we would put an offer in, someone would bid higher, and then we could be proud of us for trying but accept it wasn’t meant to happen.

When this happened I would have suggested we look for places which are less money, so that our repayments are less and we both have more flexibility with our monthly income.

Now I am feeling a lot of pressure around the thought of future repayments and making this mean that I have to stay in my current job at 5 days a week. Whereas my plan at the moment is to work 4 days a week and do a course which could progress into another course in the new year.

I’m also thinking we might want to have kids in the next couple of years and I have no idea what that will do to our finances.

My partner is working away for another week which is not helpful because I don’t feel we have been a proper team throughout making such a big life decision and have rushed through the process because of the beautiful house.

 

Answer:

 

I am wondering if you know why you are feeling anxious about the repayments? From this end, it sounds like you are feeling anxious because your expectation has had a head-on collision with reality. When you look at the facts – the cost of the house, the mortgage should you close on the deal, your salary, your partner’s salary – what does this tell you? Notice what your brain does with this.

In what ways is it totally normal to feel anxious right now? Is it possible that your brain is trying to help you stay safe? Finally, get curious about how you want to experience the process of buying a house. What energy do you want to bring into it, how do you want to feel, what do you want to think?