Moving out to a different country and continent

Hello,

I have decided to move to a different country & continent together with my husband. Initially, it was his wish and decision. It was hard for me to agree on the move, but I think I am there now and have fully agreed on it. We have already booked the flights, so a clear deadline is in place.
However, I’m still scared and keep thinking maybe it is better to move 1 or 3 months later than the book date.
I am scared that I will not be happy there. I am scared that me and my husband will not have much time together.
I am scared I will feel stuck there and alone.
I am scared if I will find a new job soon, and how the financial situation will be.

Why am I thinking that I will not be happy? This will be the second move out of the country. The first one was difficult and I wasn’t really happy and satisfied for a long time.
I was confused and lonely. How can I avoid feeling the same way this coming time?
I often have the limiting belief that I don’t belong somewhere. And his brings me the confusion and the unhappiness. It makes me question if I’m doing the right thing, and if this is what I want.
Which makes me think of other things and options, instead of fully emerging in the current moment.

Looking forward to your questions and guidance.

 

Answer:

 

I’m so glad you brought this to Ask A Coach. First of all, moving is a massive transition no matter who you are – and it makes sense that you’re using your past experiences to inform what you can expect in the future, but that’s not the only thing the past can do.

Because of the reflective work that you’ve already done, you know how going into a move with the thought, “I don’t belong here,” can make you feel. So let’s challenge that thought for a second. Is it absolutely true that you don’t belong where you’re going? Why or why not? This is just a practice round to stretch your brain from it’s routine thoughts into something else. Write down all of the responses your brain gives you without judging or editing yourself. What do you realize?

What have you learned about yourself as a result of weathering the discomfort of feeling confused and unhappy in your last abroad experience? What is one thing that you want to do differently going into the transition that is on the horizon? What extra support do you need to establish in advance for yourself to ensure that you can love yourself and even grow no matter what?

Your past doesn’t have to predict your future, but you can use is as a guide of how you might be able to do something differently, where you can invite more compassion in for yourself when you notice familiar challenging or hard feelings arise, and you can create a plan for how you’ll treat yourself, and what you’ll do when things feel that way. You get to write your story – what do you want it to be?