My relationship with my daughter

I cannot seem to let my daughter be. My hopes and dreams for her always seem to manifest as overbearing and drama. I have been trying to understand my feelings and actions when it comes to her but cannot find a model that works for me. My mother was quite distant with me. I have one child and do not want to push her away.

 

 

Answer:

Is there a specific situation that has come up recently? It can be very helpful to do some self coaching with a specific event in mind.

Open up to believing you can figure this out. Parenting is the work of a lifetime, and our children can be our greatest teachers. What if this isn’t a problem, it’s an opportunity?

Start with giving yourself some compassion. Why do you behave the way you do towards your daughter?

I’m guessing it’s because you love her and want the best for her. Of course you do. The problems arise when these beautiful children disagree with what we think is best! I don’t know many parent who haven’t struggled with this. You are in good company. If you could give yourself compassion, what would you say to you?

Some thoughts that might help are:

My daughter is supposed to have me as a mother.

I don’t have to be perfect to be a good mother.

I don’t need to control my child, I only need to love her.

I’m doing my best, and sometimes my best isn’t that great, and that’s ok.

I am not my mother.

I’m learning how to understand my thoughts and feeling towards my daughter.