Negative thoughts about body

Hi Coaches,

The situation I have is that whenever I go through a patch of not feeling great, one of the first negative thoughts that sweep in are about my body. The thought “i am fat and ugly” then just keeps being really present and I notice them but it’s difficult to diffuse them. Instead they lead me to try and diet or blame myself and just feeding the thought.

I feel like this is a thought that I have been battling with my whole life, particularly around weight, eating and desirability.

I tried a model below:

UC:
Situation: I look in the mirror / I finish eating a meal or snack
Thought: I am fat and ugly
Sensation: sinking
Feeling: sad, annoyed, undesirable
Action: ruminating around the thought. Planning possible diets, buying more clothes to make me look better, scrolling, eating sweet snacks, buffering
Result: feeding the thought and compensating for the thought

However when I try and do the CM then I realise I would start with the thought.
I’ve tried on thoughts like:
-I am proud of my body
-I am starting to believe my body I beautiful
-Food nourishes me
-I am human and I am beautiful
But these thoughts seem foreign and “put on”.

I also tried more compassionate thoughts like
-I am loved especially now
-I don’t have to believe everything My mind tells me
-This is hard right now and I’m struggling and that’s okay, my body is strong and supportive

Those feel more accessible.

Generally I would like some coaching on this negative thought and how to meet it. It seems deeply rooted, thoroughly believed and regular.
I do notice it. What are ways to actively practice to distancing myself and rewiring this?
Or are there other ways I could approach this?
The thought really makes me feel down and sad and takes away day to day joy as its connected to eating.

Thank you

Answer:

Where do you think this deeply rooted thought pattern comes from? Do some exploring. We have grown up swimming in the water of distorted body image and expectations. It can be helpful to recognize the deep conditioning as something that was done TO us. It’s not some sort of internal flaw that we have.

I would gently offer that you try a different approach if it feels safe to you.  Try putting your thought in the Circumstance line and see what comes up. Notice your beliefs. Notice what you make it mean about you and your life. That is where the suffering is coming from. Acknowledge the feelings and reactions that are there. Do as many models as you need to. Don’t judge or edit yourself. This is the part where we bring the darkness into the light so we can look right at it until it isn’t scary anymore.

C: I am fat and ugly

T:  ?

F:

S:

A:

R:

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