Nervous system activated by work emails

I am on maternity leave and am loving being a new mum AND ABSOLUTELY LOVING being away from work. This past week, there was a work issue that I was required to deal with on work email (I won’t bore you with the details, but written confirmation was required only from me for something that I am responsible for and will also benefit me when I return).

In attempting to sign off on the thing, I was hit with a wall of bureacracy and unactioned emails which made the issue difficult to resolve. I was shocked when I logged off by the extent to which I was totally agitated and on edge, almost shaking! I was thinking, God this must be how I always used to live before the bliss of maternity.

If I can crack what makes me feel like this about work stuff, I think I can really be onto something in improving my working life. I lived like this for years. What is the thought(s)? I’m not sure, let’s have a try:

C: Accessing and sending work email whilst on maternity to resolve issue which will eventually benefit me.
T: This is not going to work; this is going to take FOREVER; this will never be resolved; these things are always a brick wall; what the hell do they want from me?
F: Agitated, stressed, anxious, (also back pain – me avoiding feelings)
A: Avoid rechecking email
R: Issue is still not resolved

 

 

Answer:

Great work noticing your feelings and getting all of this into a model.  It is helpful to keep one thought in the thought line, and one emotion in the feeling line.

The result line is always YOUR result. In your model it would be R: I am unresolved

Can you see how this email is still affecting you even after you log off because of how you are thinking?

Whenever you have a thought that is a question, answer it. In this case: What the hell do they want from me?

Answer this question and see what comes up. No editing, no judgement, just let it all out onto paper so you can see what’s happening. After that, you can plug some of your thoughts into models and find what’s making you feel this way about work stuff.

Give yourself compassion as a new mum, likely sleep deprived and full of hormones, this is a season where sometimes the simplest things get a big reaction and that’s ok.