new mother time boundaries

Hello, I am a mother of a 10 month baby (my first) and I’m struggling to secure more time for myself and to begin working more.
I have been breastfeeding and unfortunately the baby will not take the bottle, so I have ended up remaining the main carer although this had not been the plan. Myself and my partner are both freelance creatives, which means we can be quite flexible when we work , me more than him.

I have recently been feeling very resentful about my role, as I am feeling ready to work again and would like to nourish my creative side after such a long break from it.
I have been trying to write out the model but am struggling with it as I have quite a few different emotions coming up around this subject
C- I want more time to work
T- There is no space for me to do this
F-Resentful
A-snappy, less talkative, less enthusiastic about time together
R-I’m not very present

Im not sure about the result line, I can’t quite separate it from the actions..

Thanks for your help!

 

Answer:

Congratulations on your baby and thank you for asking this question and being honest with how you are feeling. First, if something happened and you were unavailable to nurse, your baby would eventually take a bottle. Own your choice to continue to breastfeed. If you truly want to stop or adjust frequency, you can make that happen. You have a choice of the uncomfortable emotions you are creating now where you are blaming the baby for your lack of time, or the uncomfortable emotions of the weaning process. If you could build the perfect feeding schedule, what would it be? Put it in your result line and build a model to make it happen.

Children do demand our time and attention. Where resentment comes in is when we forget we have choices of how we want to show up. Your priorities are shifting right now and that’s ok. Make a list of what’s most important and then build your life around those. It’s going to feel so much better. Take back ownership of your life.

In your model, you are trapping yourself. You are finding all the evidence that you can’t do what you want and forgetting that you are in control.  See what you think about this intentional model:

C- I want to work (insert how many hours/days)
T- I’m going to figure this out
F-how would you feel if you believed this?
A-how would you show up to make this happen? What would you do or not do? Be specific.

R-what do you want your result to be?

See what comes up and bring back any questions or models.