Not charging at a goal

Hi there,

I wanted to ask a question – is it possible to set a goal you care about and intentionally not charge at it in a striving/pushing/all guns blazing sort of way? How does one approach a goal in a slower, gentler way that may be less about charging towards a result?

For spring and summer I set goals that I really committed to. I stuck to them, thought about them most days and made some great progress from that. I was super psyched for autumn and having a new goal… I made a couple of options for what I could pick and then didn’t choose one and so haven’t had a goal this season.

In September my nephew died suddenly which was a big shock and is still affecting me by way of sadness and worry for my family members. I gave myself permission not to set a goal as dealing with all of this in the best way I could as well as keeping my business going and juggling life with young children felt like enough.

In reality I guess I quietly set a new goal which was to take care of myself during this time. To prioritise only the essential things. To go with the flow of each day rather than have the undercurrent of something else to drive and push for. However, I couldn’t bring myself to officially set this as a new goal with rocks etc because I felt that if I did, then I would have to turbo charge it… I would have to throw everything at it and charge for this shiny new goal… And I didn’t have energy or desire to do that.

And then looking back at my spring goal which was to build a better relationship with myself. I remember being disappointed that I hadn’t really done anything extra for massive action week. But I realise now that my whole approach to the goal was massive action. It was difficult to do anything more because I had already chucked everything at it for 2months.

So, my original question – how does one set an intentional goal and then just be gentle with it, let it percolate, let it take up as much or little space in your life as it takes, and take a long as it needs? I guess be less controlling over it all… Because I don’t believe it’s a good thing to be in a permanent state of pushing and driving for something with my foot on the accelerator….. There have to be pauses and slower times too. But I’m not sure how to go about that… Any ideas?

Much love to you “Ask-a-coaches” ❤️

 

 

Answer:

What do you think it would look like for you? If you did know and yours was the only answer that mattered, just paint a picture in your mind. Create a dance or think of a melody that would accompany you doing a goal this way.

Imagine someone you know who has a goal they want to accomplish who doesn’t seem too bothered about it and emulate them. What do they think? What do they feel? How do they show up?

It’s always ok to borrow thoughts and follow others if you are feeling unsure.

What if you’re already doing this gentle goal setting just as you’ve described, the only problem is you have a belief that it doesn’t count because you didn’t write down goals and rocks.

One of my favorite ways to set a goal that gives a lot of space is to finish the sentence “I’m becoming person who…” You don’t have to know how or when it’s going to happen because it’s more about the process than the destination. What do you think? Much love right back at you.