Not liking a person

Hello to you!

some weeks ago I send in a request on how to deal with not liking a person in a model. I played around with your questions and I think I know now what my goal was/is. I dont want to change how I feel about the person, and I also dont want to feel bad about the fact that I do not like this / every single person …at the moment I still loose lots of energy by taking things personally …

Something tells me that this is probably about setting boundaries and people pleasing. I want to be accepting that I am a human being who does not like everybody. Eventually it would be nice to arrive at a thought such as: I dont care about x, or I have neutral feelings about x and what x does. but I feel a little lost where to start working on this.

For more context: I have a job position now where I am leading people and although it would be wonderful to like everybody I work with, this is difficult to achieve, at least liking everybody EVERY day, especially since I manage people that were hired before me. I am also going to have to let people go soon and being able to make a distinction between performance and personal feelings will be crucial and hopefully help me have those conversations …

Here is my initial AAC request

Hi dear Coaching Team …
I have a lot of things to coach myself on … and some stuff is connected to other people. Before I start self coaching in a model I have this question: can my C line be:
C: I don’t like a person.
???
Curious to know if this can only go in the T line.
Many thanks!

Answer:

Great question. It can go in the C line, but a way to make it extra factual is: Feelings about X. Or you can do this: Having the thought, “I don’t like this person,” about X.
My question to you is what your model is about. Is it about how you feel about this person? An experience you had with them? How you’d like to approach your relationship? Changing how you feel about them? What are you trying to coach yourself on? This might help clarify whether this thought goes in the C or the T line best.

 

Answer:

 

As it goes in every submission, there are many paths we could take with this coaching, but what stands out to me is that you want to accept that you’re a person who doesn’t like everybody. What do you think is standing between where you are now and getting to that place of acceptance? If you could make a 1% change in the direction of being able to accept this about yourself, what would that look like or mean for you?