Not liking a person II

Thank you for the question.

Here is a spontaneous thought download.

C: not liking a person / not liking everybody

Thought download
T: I am not allowed to not like people
T: I am a bad person for not liking everybody
T: I am not a good practicioner / teacher of yoga when I don’t manage to like everybody
T: this will have consequences, people will find out and you will be isolated
T: it is not your place to have thoughts/opinions/feelings about other people
T: I have to be nice and kind
T: I am not likable/lovable (if I dont like/love everybody else)
T: I dont deserve to be liked/loved (if I dont like/love everybody else)

Here is where I want to arrive:
Self-Acceptance

And some alternative thouhgts:

C: not liking a person / not liking everybody

T: it is not my job to like everbody
T: what an effort, to like everybody!
T: it ok to not like everybody …
T: and its ok not to be liked by everybody
T: I will always be liked/loved by myself
T: I am deserving of love …
T: and I dont need to be loved by every person I meet

When I try to create an entire model I experience difficulty, it is as if I am completley disconnetcted from my body. So I guess the issue is really all in my head but there is also a question coming up that is making me nervous: How am I suppossed to feel, when I have the thought: I dont like that person, and thats ok???

So I guess:
F: disconnected
F: nervousness
F: worry
F: fear

Now I feel:
S: a tight stomach, no movement

And my (re-)actions are:
A: avoiding the topic
A: blaming myself
A: dismissing the importance of the model / work
A: staying inside
A: avoiding meeting people

Here is a new perspective coming up: I’d like to change that I dont like people, so I am not self accepting, but I also try to change the people I dont like, so I am not accepting the other person as they are…

Instead of the 1% change I could make, this gets bigger and bigger 🙂

Maybe a one percent change thought could be:

C: not liking a person / not liking everybody
T: ah Sarah, thats good to know for yourself or that is valuable information

… I did not keep this short, as I would love to get some feed back on the process I take in self coaching

 

 

Answer:

Great work getting this all written down. What has you inner voice been saying to you since you got it all out? How is your heart?

One of the thoughts that really stood out to me is this one

T: this will have consequences, people will find out and you will be isolated

Explore this more. What are you making it mean about you if you don’t like everyone? Who will isolate you? What are the consequences if people find out you don’t like someone?  Be very gentle, compassionate and curious. Your brain is already answering these questions, just allow those unintentional thoughts to come to the surface so you can look at them.

We would also offer that you could do some exploring around how you think one should build their team at work. It sounds like your brain thinks you should not choose people to manage that you like. Is that true? Is that serving you? Why don’t you trust your opinion of people? What evidence can you see in the world around you that it could be beneficial to build a team that has the energy you want?