Opening Up In Relationships Part 3

Hi coaches,

I answered your questions below:

How do you feel about sharing your story with this friend now?

Yeah, it’s like, I don’t need a specific response. I can share it and be okay with whatever happens.

I noticed this statement and wanted to point it out: “It’s like, if I love and accept every part of myself and my story then I don’t need someone else to.”

I’m having a bit of a tough time accepting my “story”. I’m very sad I was abused and I often find myself fantasizing about what my life would have been like if I wasn’t. I feel heavy about what’s happened. I wonder sometimes if I’m going to be able to lead a fulfilling life with all this trauma.

What energy would that bring to a conversation with your friend if you choose to have one? What result would you want to create for yourself?

I didn’t do a model (gonna keep that in mind for next time tho). But I took the leap and told not 1 but 2 friends. Their responses were loving and warm and they both encouraged me to share. They said things like “we aren’t meant to go through these things alone” and that they were so sorry to hear what I have been going through recently. One friend said “I am proud of you for opening up and speaking about it. Your dedication to free yourself from all of this is inspiring and beautiful. Just like who you are to the world”.

All their responses made me cry and I feel a mixture of love and supported and sadness. I don’t feel alone and I’m grateful they are open to me sharing every part of who I am.

It reaffirms for me that I can trust who I bring into my life and I’m don’t have to hide this anymore. I feel good, like you do when you come up for air after being under water. Like a deep inhale of fresh air.

Answer:

First of all, that’s so amazing that you are able to take a deep breath of fresh air. You’re feeling good and you can trust who you bring into your life. How are you celebrating or honoring These shifts?

Let’s look at the topic of accepting your story. Examine for a moment what accepting it means to you. What do you expect yourself to feel and be able to do? Do you like that definition? I wonder if there’s a chance that accepting it does in fact mean that you are allowed to feel sad, and see wondering as a part of this journey that makes sense, and navigate your questions about what life will look and feel like with this going forward. If it were possible that were the case, what opens up for you?