Opening Up In Relationships Part 4

Hi Coaches,

I wrote my reflections below:

How are you celebrating or honoring These shifts?

Hmm, I could be celebrating more. I wonder what I would do if I was really celebrating myself. I want to find more ways to celebrate.

My partner planned a surprise birthday trip for me and invited my friends!! I’m looking forward to seeing them and celebrating! I’m a little nervous to be this new version of me.

Also, I bought some new clothes a while ago! Maybe I’ll wear some new outfits and enjoy them.

One way I’ve been celebrating is enjoying my beauty. When I look in the mirror I am learning to hear myself say, you’re beautiful and you aren’t the person who those people made you feel like you were. You are so much more!

Let’s look at the topic of accepting your story. Examine for a moment what accepting it means to you. What do you expect yourself to feel and be able to do?

Maybe this is a bit random but the first thing that comes to mind is the story of how a pearl is made. I’ve always related to this story and it brings me hope. You know, this piece of dirt enters the clam and it’s not like the clam really wants it there but over time the clam covers it and it grows and becomes these beautiful layers on layers until it becomes a pearl. And we wear them! They are so beautiful we treasure them.

I like to think maybe this could be what I do with what happened. Through the grieving and healing it can become this beautiful thing! I’ve put a lot of my feelings into song and they are really beautiful songs that I love. I feel so fulfilled when I sing. I love to sing. I’ve been learning how to record and I want to share these songs with the world someday!

I like the idea of alchemy! I want to embrace the pain and offer myself love and make something beautiful with my life!

True acceptance to me would be, I am already beautiful. Being who I am, just as I am, after all that happened to me, I’m still this beautiful person who loves animals, and loves nature, who helps others and wants to share and spread love. Who is fierce and will fight fiercely for the rights of all children. Who stands up against injustice. And who believes in healing and who is brave! And I am someone who still has dreams for my life!

Do you like that definition? I wonder if there’s a chance that accepting it does in fact mean that you are allowed to feel sad, and see wondering as a part of this journey that makes sense, and navigate your questions about what life will look and feel like with this going forward. If it were possible that were the case, what opens up for you?

Yeah! Maybe the sadness could be like the compost! Helping the flowers grow. I like that idea. I think my sadness has always offered me gifts, to open up to deeper levels of love and compassion for others and myself. I want to embrace the sadness! I’m proud that I feel deeply and that I am moved to transform pain into beauty and love.

Answer:

You have some beautiful metaphors and visions to work with here. Pearls, compost – both things that start as waste and give life to beautiful, coveted, admired goods. If you’re up for it, bring some of your celebrating (in pearls?!) to the community so we can celebrate alongside you, and bring back whatever comes up as it comes up for you going forward. We are so excited to see what you grow in this compost.