Over responsibility – at work and in private place

At work and in my private life I tend to take on too much responsibility and feel like if I don’t do this, nothing will happen. In my private life I at times tested out to not do a task and see what happens: I tend to just be burdened with it later on. Not always, some things happen (just not the way I would like them too). In the private space, I seem to manage. Just adding this to mention that this issue of being too responsable might be not only work related.
At work, I didn’t try this. However I am actually doing tasks that belong to my superior(s), and they take the credits. I could test out to not do them. (yet deep down I would like a promotion and try out these responsibilities if I feel up to it). My main issue is that I sense the pressure of the responsibility and don’t obtain the credits and/or the occasion to “shine”. To me accountability of who did what is important. My gut feeling is if I don’t do these additional steps, the project will suffer from it.

On the other hand I struggle to take a step back, delegate and ask for help. I am afraid to realise that I might not be as “indispensable” (in French) / needed as I like to think I am. Lately, I notice that my energy is going more and more towards work and less towards my personal life – fortunately I have a partner that understands this. However, I would like to have a better work/life balance while taking on responsibility and receive the owned “credits” for my work.

How can I manage this balance ? How to regulate my sense of responsibility? What are the triggers/questions to discover where this strong sense of responsibility is coming from? Could it be linked to a need to control the situations i am in?

 

Answer:

Let’s look for clues for the answers to your questions in your submission. Here are several thoughts I noticed about why you have a strong sense of responsibility at work:

• I would like a promotion

• I might not be as needed or indispensable as I like to think I am if I don’t do them

• If I don’t do them, the project will suffer

• If I don’t do them, nothing will happen

There are two things that I think about when I look at these thoughts: your sense of worth, and fearing disappointment and/or failure (and these two things are very connected). Do you know that you’re worthy without needing to pick up the pieces and responsibilities of others? Because you are! What thoughts stir up an unquestionable sense of your inherent worth? If you approached recalibrating your work/life balance to be in flow with these thoughts and feelings at the front of your mind, what would you be doing both at work and at home? What would you not be doing? Listening to episodes 34 and 36 of the podcast would be beneficial, as would watching the Doing Less webinar. Come back to us when you are ready for more coaching on this.