Overly Self-conscious (part 2)

After doing a thought download it was very clear that I find it really hard to look at in other people. I can cope with spinach in someones teeth, but I’ve always been put off by seeing someone eating with their mouth open for example, including excess saliva around the mouth. I wrote down: looks disgusting, difficult to look at, would wipe it away as quickly as possible, embarrassing. So these are obviously the thoughts (and judgements) I am having about myself. I think I am assuming that this is how others must feel when they look at me, even though I know for a fact that there isn’t always saliva there. I think what often happens is the opposite, my mouth doesn’t produce enough saliva and dries up from nervousness and I see this as a stress response. I’m still not sure how to break the cycle and I think this goes deeper and has to do with feeling insecure and with the fear of what others think in general. As soon as my mouth begins to dry up I tell myself everything is alright, that there is no threat, that I can relax, but it’s usually no help by that time and I’m then distracted from the conversation. I then wait for the moment that the other person looks away so that I can lick my lips and/or wipe my mouth, just in case.

 

 

Answer:

This is some really good awareness. Just allow it to sit for a while while you process it. Play with it. Embrace it. Some ladder thoughts can be:

I notice I think it’s disgusting if people chew with their mouths open, and that’s ok.

I notice I worry that people will think I’m disgusting, and that’s ok.

What else could you think?

Before moving on to changing anything, love yourself right where you are. What do you think that would look like?