Overwhelm

Hello
I would like some help but I’m not sure in what format or what specifically with. I have been doing IVF and it hasn’t been successful. I’m deeply upset about it. I might do another cycle but it’s feeling like i need to accept things as they are right now which is not having children. I feel mostly in shutdown about this and I think that’s ok for a while, the emotions feel too much and too big to cope with atm.
The anxiety and desire for control feels like it’s coming out in my mind planning, scheming, thinking 100 miles an hour, with huge to do lists doing taking action feels overwhelming and I’m exhausted, understandably. My list is also far too long to realistically to achieve.
My mother in law is in hospital and going in to a care home and my partner is very stressed, upset and demanding of me in a way I find draining and exhausting.
I have been accepted in to a 6 month business incubator which started a month ago and I have not done a thing on my business since I went to the first session. I feel like I could easily spend the 6 months stuck and not doing anything, and I feel pressure to be using this time well and not to waste the opportunity yet I can’t face doing anything on it.
At the same time I’ve convinced myself I need to find another job (my business is only an idea currently) so am spending time doing job applications.
I want to make the most of the business incubator opportunity and feel this is the time to commit to it, and I can realistically find another job later down the line. I also realise it’s normal that I would feel stuck on my business if I’m in shutdown, and that I would feel anxious with thoughts about needing to solve and control everything.
I know I can’t rush or force myself through the process of coming to terms with the ivf and I know I could use some support to help me cope, and I intend to see a therapist.
I feel like I can’t even start a model as I don’t know where to start. Do you have any help with this, and any other insight that could be beneficial? Thanks

 

Answer:

 

It’s okay to be where you are – to feel shut down and overwhelmed. It makes a lot of sense. This is a normal part of what I would call grief. It’s wonderful that you’re going to start using therapy in addition to coaching – that in and of itself is a huge act of self-love.

Imagine that you have been on a walk and have found the version of yourself that is in shut down. Where are you? How do you find yourself? What do they need most from you at this time? Is there anything you want to give or say to this version of you? Is there anything the version of you in shutdown has to share with or give to you?

If you meet yourself with love exactly where you are, what would the next step look like in terms of giving yourself what you need most while you’re navigating this particular void, and, maybe, with the business incubator? We are sending you so much tenderness and love.