Overwhelm and feeling inadequate

Hi,

Thanks a lot for the opportunity to ask a personal Question. This one accompanies my for quite a while. I am happy to finally being able to find a form for it and the diffuse feeling I am carrying around with my for more than a year now.

I am trying to figure out how I can change the way I feel toward myself and my achievements.
After being at home with the kids for 8 years I started a business 2 years ago.
Recently there was a lot on my to do list (which is a constant since 2 years) but I managed to gettin done a lot, tried to celebrate my wins and loved doing it. I also managed to take care of myself, have brakes and have time for reading, recreation and sport. Then I got a cold and was resting a few days, recovered and still got a lot of things done. I am quite happy with what I achieved and how I still took care of myself.
But here is the thing: in the back of my head there are thoughts lurking around like I should and would like to do so many things in my household. All the work I did was for my business. I made this my priority in the last years while before I had time to tend to the household much more. Things are well shared with my partner but all the extra things like making jam, cleaning windows, baking bread, keeping up with the garden are just not possible anymore. And I love to do this things too.
So that is the situation. I somehow know I should be fine and proud but I can’t embrace it.
C: There are more things on my schedule now because I started a business 2 years ago. Recently I had a cold and still got a lot of things done, managed to rest but some household tings I could do when I was not working are not possible anymore.
T: I am proud of the things I managed to do and how I cared for myself. Still I am missing out on some things like cleaning windows, weeding, cooking jam. I will have to choose and prioritize. But I somehow think that I will never get to do this things. I am always behind things and never done. I miss being in in peace with my mind and my to do list.
F: Sadness that I can not do all of it. Feeling behind. Feeling nervous.
A: Doing too much and not focusing on my goals. Being distracted. Being more behind. Having to calm myself all the time.
R: Sad and discontent with myself.

So I guess I should accept being sad sometimes about not being able to do it all. I could either prioritize new or live with it. In my spring and summer all is fine. This nagging feeling occurs frequently in my autum/winter. I keep struggling with this nagging feeling of wanting an having, of not being enough and missing out on something.
My question is if this is a discomfort I should learn to live with and explore it more? Or is there a different way I could look at it that I am blind to. I feel discomfort of not living up to my standard, of being not enough of not achieving what I could. I would like to solve and explore and understand this a bit better.

Thanks a lot.

 

Answer:

Let’s simplify your models – remember it’s so much easier to see what’s there when you stick to the format of ONE thought and the emotion it creates.

C: Things around the house that I want/need to do
T: I will never get to do these things.
F: Sadness
A: [what do you do when you feel sad because of this T?]
R: I never do these things (in reality but also in your head you are living as if they will never happen again)

But the main T I want to pull out is ‘ I’m not living up to my standard’. How do you feel when you think that? Where did this standard come from and do you like it, is it one that you want to keep because it feels kind and helpful?

Bring back what you find for more coaching – if you title your submission as Overwhelm and feeling inadequate part 2 or continued then we know it’s a follow on 🙂