Overwhelm CTFAR Model – Part 4

Hi again, thanks for the continued coaching.

Thank you for the explanation of the 1%. It makes sense but also gets me still feeling itchy and unsure how to ever suggest something that isn’t a quantum leap!

So… I had to read through all previous parts to understand what I want of this coaching and where this all came from. I was confused and had lost the thread of the story a bit. So Let me summarise :

(1) We talked about dealing with overwhelm in the moment (emergency rest + recovery process) – that was part 1 and 2. The biggest challenge in this is seems to be the “bullying, control/power, denigrating stance” occurs here when I am severely depleted/ overwhelmed and i dont meet my expectations of myself to have avoided that. Instead of a compassionate approach. And also just rinsing and repeating instead of working on a long term plan of change.

(2) We are now talking about that long term plan for change (avoiding committing to too much, keeping to health and rest routines) – that was part 2 and 3. The biggest challenge for those seems to be excitement and impulsivity leading to overcommitment. And I will add now that there is also a ‘go go go’ mode that in coaching with Maisie we called an ‘urge’ with a very strong pull. Because it isn’t just about activities with other people, but any tasks or activities that i just flow naturally into (without checking in with by energy ability before).

So – back to the coaching which is on the long term plan…

The solution idea of saying “i’ll have a look and get back to you!” when someone (or myself) suggests an activity to do. You said “So assuming that you’re feeling excitement, AND you want to say “I’ll have a look…” what else would make it possible for you to say this? Trust? Respect? Dedicated? What do you think?”

Option 1 is… Disappointment. As in: Accepting i’m excited by the activity, But accepting the reality i probably cant do it due to energy (without depleting myself). But also having a glimmer of hope being i need to check the calendar which will help me make an informed decision.

Option 2 is…. Commitment/ dedication to my health. As in: my priority is to not be in a “boom bust” experience of energy, but one of consistency. (I have big resistance to this one so i don’t think it will work. I WANT to do all these activities and live my life in these ways much more than i commit to my health).

Option 3 is…. there definetely needs to be an option 3 because two above don’t make sense. Can you help on this ?

I’ve come up with a model to visualise it a bit better.

Unintentional model of an urge/ activity idea that presents itself and I disrespect my calendar blocked health/rest routine:

C – It’s a dedicated rest day or hour in my calendar and is blocked off as such. I walk down stairs and see the floor is dirty messy.
T – I have free time now, I can just do it now, if I don’t do it now it will be pushed back yet again.
F – Determined, excited.
S – Energy feeling (a fake one likely), Buzzing
A – I do the hoovering and tidying
R – The floor is clean!! But I did not rest during this blocked out rest period. Consequences vary but there are always consequences.

I intentionally kept people out of this because the biggest challenge i have is when I come up with the activity idea myself.

Ok, over to you again!

thanks

 

Answer:

 

Thank you for bringing the history back to this post. These written back-and-forths are like a long conversation and sometimes it’s important to go back to the start to remember why we’re talking about this in the first place!

The model is wonderful and revealed something interesting – how you look at your calendar blocks for health/rest. In your model, you called it two things. Your brain says it’s ‘free time’ in the T line, but your C and R line call it a rest day or hour. Did you notice that as well? It brings to mind the question, what are these time blocks to you? Do you like the idea of a rest hour or day? Why or why not? What else could you call these time blocks that feel different to you? Is there any title that would make them sacred or enjoyable in your mind?

There is definitely more to coach on in here, and you’ve done wonderful introspection with the questions you were asked in the last submission – but I want to reroute and see what shifts emerge from investigating this angle first.