My period is very late, usually my cycles have quite a bit of variation and are around 38 days long, but today is day 64. It feels like I have been waiting for a month for it to come. Sometimes it will do this when I’m waiting for something specific or more anxious overall. I have started a new job last week so I thought it might be that that it was ‘waiting’ for but still no sign. Sometimes I’ll get cramping and I thought it was going to come last week and it didn’t.
I haven’t felt very emotional in terms of ups and downs waiting for it, but sometimes I find it hard to connect to my emotions / feelings / sensations (I feel like I have been living a bit like at sea without the rhythm of the cycle – and in a sense I have with no cycle). But I’m starting to realise maybe a couple of instances of speaking before processing and being hurtful to my partner and having quite negative thought cycles all in the last 30 days might be to do with an extended autumn period. I thought that having these quite critical thought patterns was quite out of character but maybe they are linked?
I will try and see if I can uncover any other trapped emotion (I have had a good start to the job but I think there are some underlying fears there and it is also one year since my partner and I nearly broke up so that time of year could be making me feel anxious in some way). At the moment everything feels a bit buried and out of reach – like any emotions etc are muffled / far away but the thoughts come and go.
Any advice is welcome!
(Also no risk of pregnancy!)