play activities for my kids pt2

It sounds like you had something that was working for you in the past that is not currently working for you. The problem is you think it still should be. We call this fighting reality and it usually feels terrible. What other judgements do you have of yourself, if we started a model like this (please adapt I’ll just give an example)?
C: 2020-2023 I did 4 activities with my kids per week, in 2024 I do 1
T: – I’m not doing enough
– i should be doing more
– i have all these materials / pay for a membership but don’t do it
– I’m wasting money
– I’m wasting their childhood
– If I did more, they would be happier
– If I did more, they wouldn’t want to be on the screen so much
– if I did more, they would be more connected to me

When I try to change my expectations for what is realistic to be able to do now, I have the goal of doing 1 – 2 activities a week. My steps would involve:
1. go onto membership site and pull off all activities / ideas that I think would be good
2. each week pick 2 activities- 1 for the weekend and 1 for my non-work day
– evaluate if this works after a month

I think this would perhaps be a good balance even though my brain is telling me it’s more work, I don’t have time, if I do a plan then it needs to be colourcoded and perfect!

do a thought download and get some more thoughts about why this is a problem, what your brain thinks is going wrong, and what you’re making it mean.
Once you uncover these thoughts, question them. For example- T:I’m a bad mum. Is it true? Is it useful? Who would you be without this thought? How does worrying about being a bad mum actually prove you aren’t? This could be a great opportunity to practice adapting and changing as you and your children grow. See what comes up and bring it back for more coaching.

 

 

Answer:

I like your idea to try it an evaluate after a month. How does it feel to have a plan in place? You’ve got some good actions here. I would offer that you choose the feeling you want to come from as you move forward. How can you be kinder to yourself? How can you feel more powerful in your relationship with your children? Not powerful in a “I’m in control” way, but in the sense that you trust yourself, and them to all be ok. We can put a lot of pressure on ourselves as parents to mold our children in a certain way. What if you are the exact parent they need?

Look at the fears you’ve listed in your submission. How would they be different if you truly believed this thought?