Possible rejection

Hi coaches,

I am a songwriter and write with a lot of different people. I recently worked with 3 people that are very successful but also at times clicky and can be “hard to get” in terms of getting in to work with them. Anyway I recently worked with them and it was really nice. I sang one song, and another girl sang another song. I usually am a little self conscious about my voice and singing in front of people, but especially this time as they wanted me to sing it quite theatrical. Anyway- everyone seem to be happy with the songs, and we just got them back on a group chat with the 4 of us. As my management has had trouble before getting in sessions with those people cause they are busy (?), I decided to message directly in the group chat and ask if they all wanted to do another session in the new year. My management has even said it might be easier if I talk to them directly. I knew it would make me feel sick. And now especially as I can see everyone has seen the message, but no one has responded yet. Will anyone ever respond? Will one person say they are busy, and no one else get back? Will they all say no in some “polite way”. It’s pure agony. My thoughts are “I have now ruined all my chances to get in with them again”, “I am coming over as too eager/ beggy and not cool”, “The silence will be embarrassing, and will signal to the others that I am not good enough”, and lastly “I shouldn’t have done that, I have now sabotaged my career”. As you can see the drama is dramaing.
Lately I also have’nt felt like I am that good. It comes in waves as a creative. But it feeds in well with that underlying state I guess.
Please could I have some coaching on this situation. I would love to be able to work with this. Thank you x

 

 

Answer:

It might be helpful to clarify what you need right now. What do you want? It sounds like you want to feel better as you wait for a response. You also have some goals to work with these people. And then there is the part of you that wants to make some shifts in your relationships with yourself and your music. What do you think? What do you see?

Any of these areas are the perfect place to start. You just get to choose.  We would also suggest you check in with your nervous system. It’s currently convinced you’re going to die.

As for your thoughts, try doing a big list of all the reasons they might not have responded. Get creative, be silly, be extra compassionate.  There is a saying that goes-we’re all delusional, so why not be delusional in a way that serves us?  Your brain is telling stories…might as well pick one you like. Bring back any models or questions or wins that you come up with.